Oh man , colby's new single is fused to my neurons.. I cant seem to get this tune out of my head. Its such a catchy song, with lyrcis that.. uh hum reminds me of certain parts of myself.. hehe
Well it's worthy of a post..
Now don't blame me if its stuck in ur head :)
Sunday 21 December 2008
Friday 12 December 2008
The One Who Shall Be Called the Graduate.
Yippie !!!
Graduation day finally has come !!!
And I have indeed graduated from Bachelor of Pharmacy wit Honours.
Its been such an amazing journey; the education was great, but I believe the ordeals and challenges I faced and lived through was my biggest joy. People ask me, what was the easiest part of your degree... I have to say, it was the studying. The education was a breeze.. if you put in effort, you get the grades.
However, the whole social aspect to my degree was tough. Living by myself, getting use to a new country and making new friends. Yesterday I felt as though, i did not only come out with a B.Pharm(Hons), but also equipped with the skills survive in this world.
On another note, I have so many people to thank for contributing to my success. First of all, God who has never failed me.. Praise to the Lord !!
I thank my mum and dad for being so supportive both financially and emotionally. My friends back home in Msia, who always make my homecomings such memorable ones and my friends in Australia who have given me great memories of uni life.
There have been many professionals that I have met over my course, which have contributed a lot to my education. I so sincerely thank them for putting me on the right path.
It's been a wonderful journey.. it will continue to be a wonderful journey..
Nothing is too hard :)
Wednesday 10 December 2008
The one after the Great Silence..
Now that looks like a title taken straight out from FRIENDS...but hey I came up with it :)
Its been a month since Ive taken time to pen my thoughts down. This month has been fairly busy for me..
A quick summary of the reason happenings : (gees I sound like im writting a monthly report.. all the work in CSL is making me too cooporate like)
- First of all , my folks are down , and we've been having quite a blast. We took a trip to Sydney (my ultimate fav place).. ate like a zilliion types of food.. and just tried to soak in as much of Sydney's beauty as possible.. I visited Taronga Zoo yet again !!! for those who know me well, you'l knw how much I "love" animals.. hence, my 2nd visit to the zoo was such an incredible " pleasure".. I told myself, the next time I come here, i better be pushing a freaking stroller !!
- Then after holidays and all... results striked. I was very pleased to have done well in my bachelors. Getting an Honours degree has proven to be much tougher than I thought it be, but hey .. I did it !!
- So with a solid degree, comes the career world. I commenced work on Dec 1st as schedule. Did a bit of orientation at RCH before heading off to CSL. Now that I have had a taste of all 3.. hospital, community and industry.. I really can say that I enjoy industry and hospital very much . I feel more blessed to have been given this opportunity to experience both of this areas that I am very passionate about.
- To complete the summary of the month NOV/DEC 08.. i shall end it with a BANG! ..
THE GRADUATION
Its been a month since Ive taken time to pen my thoughts down. This month has been fairly busy for me..
A quick summary of the reason happenings : (gees I sound like im writting a monthly report.. all the work in CSL is making me too cooporate like)
- First of all , my folks are down , and we've been having quite a blast. We took a trip to Sydney (my ultimate fav place).. ate like a zilliion types of food.. and just tried to soak in as much of Sydney's beauty as possible.. I visited Taronga Zoo yet again !!! for those who know me well, you'l knw how much I "love" animals.. hence, my 2nd visit to the zoo was such an incredible " pleasure".. I told myself, the next time I come here, i better be pushing a freaking stroller !!
- Then after holidays and all... results striked. I was very pleased to have done well in my bachelors. Getting an Honours degree has proven to be much tougher than I thought it be, but hey .. I did it !!
- So with a solid degree, comes the career world. I commenced work on Dec 1st as schedule. Did a bit of orientation at RCH before heading off to CSL. Now that I have had a taste of all 3.. hospital, community and industry.. I really can say that I enjoy industry and hospital very much . I feel more blessed to have been given this opportunity to experience both of this areas that I am very passionate about.
- To complete the summary of the month NOV/DEC 08.. i shall end it with a BANG! ..
THE GRADUATION
I have been waiting to call myself a graduate ever since I went to kinder.Tmrw when Im up there, receiving my honours scroll.. I know there will be a couple of things running through my mind...
I shall never forget the effort my mum and dad has put into me from a very young age.. I shall never forget the incredible teachers that I had along the way.. I shall never forget the friends that made memories with me throughout my education and taught me valuble lessons in life.
I believe, every milestone I undertook from a young child to completing my degree has been significant and in someway contributed to the person I am today.
It has been a great year.. ( from my point of view). Lots of ups.. and a fair share of downs too. I would sum up my academic 4 years in Melbourne as something truly unique, special and has made me the person I am today...
Adios..
I shall never forget the effort my mum and dad has put into me from a very young age.. I shall never forget the incredible teachers that I had along the way.. I shall never forget the friends that made memories with me throughout my education and taught me valuble lessons in life.
I believe, every milestone I undertook from a young child to completing my degree has been significant and in someway contributed to the person I am today.
It has been a great year.. ( from my point of view). Lots of ups.. and a fair share of downs too. I would sum up my academic 4 years in Melbourne as something truly unique, special and has made me the person I am today...
Adios..
Saturday 15 November 2008
Walking through fire.
You know sometimes you just get the feeling of living on the edge..
Well recently, I ve been having that feeling. I haven't taken much risk in my life. I would like to say I have played my life safe right up till now. I was craving for some exciting, dangerous, and brave adventure. Something that will take a lot of guts to do... and challenge my principles.
After finishing my degree, I thought i would be very happy. Unfortunately, Im having so much of mixed feelings. Im not blisfully happy as this is not how I planned it to be. He was meant to move in with me and we were meant to be happy. Unfortunately , nothing turned out the way I planned it to be. Hence, my craving for something new and dangerous spiked up.
So .. to cut the story short, I got my challenging, daring , defying all my principles experience. And you know what, it left me feeling a whole lot worse. Cause Im not that person. I like my comfort zone. I thought I would be gratified by doing something exciting, unfortunately all I am left with is a massive guilt trip. I wish i was more carefree... I wish i could find my inner peace. I am never at peace with myself. My body and spirit don't seem to be coherent. Both are extremely strong forces going against each other.
I don't know what is it that I want or need. I am scared as I seem to have lost that ability to be truly happy. Sometimes I do miss having Him in my life. We were not all that bad. And in a way, he completed me. Now Im left with half myself, trying to search the other half is tiring, exhausting and I dont want to do it anymore.
Sigining off in a pretty depressed moooooodddd.. i just wanna crawl in bed and sleep the days away..
Well recently, I ve been having that feeling. I haven't taken much risk in my life. I would like to say I have played my life safe right up till now. I was craving for some exciting, dangerous, and brave adventure. Something that will take a lot of guts to do... and challenge my principles.
After finishing my degree, I thought i would be very happy. Unfortunately, Im having so much of mixed feelings. Im not blisfully happy as this is not how I planned it to be. He was meant to move in with me and we were meant to be happy. Unfortunately , nothing turned out the way I planned it to be. Hence, my craving for something new and dangerous spiked up.
So .. to cut the story short, I got my challenging, daring , defying all my principles experience. And you know what, it left me feeling a whole lot worse. Cause Im not that person. I like my comfort zone. I thought I would be gratified by doing something exciting, unfortunately all I am left with is a massive guilt trip. I wish i was more carefree... I wish i could find my inner peace. I am never at peace with myself. My body and spirit don't seem to be coherent. Both are extremely strong forces going against each other.
I don't know what is it that I want or need. I am scared as I seem to have lost that ability to be truly happy. Sometimes I do miss having Him in my life. We were not all that bad. And in a way, he completed me. Now Im left with half myself, trying to search the other half is tiring, exhausting and I dont want to do it anymore.
Sigining off in a pretty depressed moooooodddd.. i just wanna crawl in bed and sleep the days away..
Sunday 9 November 2008
The end of an era
It's finally over.. university has come to a closure (for now at least).
What has it all meant to me ?
Personally, this journey has been one of the toughest that I have encountered. As I look back, the study wasn't so bad. In fact, it was good. There were times when the pressure was on, but I never really felt that the 4 years at university was a burden. I enjoyed every bit of my education.
I had a pre-conceived idea of what university life would be, sadly none of it were true. I was faced with the harsh reality from day 1 and I gradually grew into it.
I took a good hard look at myself the next day after everything was over. Who is she and what she has become? 4 years ago, I remember, my teachers use to call me the loud box. Me and my best friend were the speakers of the class. Over the years, I have become this quiet individual, with nothing much to say. I use to be so bubbly , but the cautious side of me has taken over that. University has not just given me education, in fact , that is quite a small part that it delivered to me. Living on my own and growing up has been the biggest lesson Ive learnt.
I have shaped many values and deepen many of my principles during these 4 years. My faith and believe in the Catholic religion has deepen. My boundries were drawn and my personality has grown.
Today, I packed 4 years of memories into a couple of boxes. As I did that, every item that I placed into the box reminded me so much about the toughness and emotional challenge that I endured. Well of course there were joys, most of my good memories were in my 2nd and 3rd year of uni. I was surrounded with some incredibly good friends with whom I clicked on really well and I do miss very dearly.
I came across a receipt today , which was dated back to the Feb 2005. That was my first month here. You know they say ignorance is bliss.. it so is. I never knew what i was in for when I boarded that flight all alone to Melb. As soon as it took off, I still remember how it hit me, that I was leaving back not only my family, but my whole life. It shook me to my very core. My first day in Melbourne, was an "incredible" day. I don't know how i ever got through it by myself.
Now four years later, sure Im fine and happy, but I have not really found myself here. My body lives up to this world, but my soul just ain't here. It's nice to go out, have good food, drink nice wine, but those are merely superficial to me. They don't satisfy my inner-being not give me any long-term pleasure.
Im not even sure why Im staying on. Maybe it's just because its the right thing to do. But, I know for sure, after 4 years, and a loving relationship with a certain place fails to exists, it probably indicates , you ain't hanging around for long.
Im excited about working, yet nervous. On a scale of 1-10, I ll rate my looking fwd to next year as 3.
Right now, i just so damn wish, I was packing my bags and heading back to KL. A city I really do love. More ever so than my love for Melbourne. Melbourne is not my home. Never was and never will be.
--Nites---
What has it all meant to me ?
Personally, this journey has been one of the toughest that I have encountered. As I look back, the study wasn't so bad. In fact, it was good. There were times when the pressure was on, but I never really felt that the 4 years at university was a burden. I enjoyed every bit of my education.
I had a pre-conceived idea of what university life would be, sadly none of it were true. I was faced with the harsh reality from day 1 and I gradually grew into it.
I took a good hard look at myself the next day after everything was over. Who is she and what she has become? 4 years ago, I remember, my teachers use to call me the loud box. Me and my best friend were the speakers of the class. Over the years, I have become this quiet individual, with nothing much to say. I use to be so bubbly , but the cautious side of me has taken over that. University has not just given me education, in fact , that is quite a small part that it delivered to me. Living on my own and growing up has been the biggest lesson Ive learnt.
I have shaped many values and deepen many of my principles during these 4 years. My faith and believe in the Catholic religion has deepen. My boundries were drawn and my personality has grown.
Today, I packed 4 years of memories into a couple of boxes. As I did that, every item that I placed into the box reminded me so much about the toughness and emotional challenge that I endured. Well of course there were joys, most of my good memories were in my 2nd and 3rd year of uni. I was surrounded with some incredibly good friends with whom I clicked on really well and I do miss very dearly.
I came across a receipt today , which was dated back to the Feb 2005. That was my first month here. You know they say ignorance is bliss.. it so is. I never knew what i was in for when I boarded that flight all alone to Melb. As soon as it took off, I still remember how it hit me, that I was leaving back not only my family, but my whole life. It shook me to my very core. My first day in Melbourne, was an "incredible" day. I don't know how i ever got through it by myself.
Now four years later, sure Im fine and happy, but I have not really found myself here. My body lives up to this world, but my soul just ain't here. It's nice to go out, have good food, drink nice wine, but those are merely superficial to me. They don't satisfy my inner-being not give me any long-term pleasure.
Im not even sure why Im staying on. Maybe it's just because its the right thing to do. But, I know for sure, after 4 years, and a loving relationship with a certain place fails to exists, it probably indicates , you ain't hanging around for long.
Im excited about working, yet nervous. On a scale of 1-10, I ll rate my looking fwd to next year as 3.
Right now, i just so damn wish, I was packing my bags and heading back to KL. A city I really do love. More ever so than my love for Melbourne. Melbourne is not my home. Never was and never will be.
--Nites---
Wednesday 29 October 2008
The awakening of the maternal instinct...
Between cramming in clinicals, DD a prac test and a allergic reaction to what I think is caused by my relentless consumption of iron tablets and salmon oil together, I still managed to find the time the day dream (per usual)
Yday before going to bed, I watched an episode of Private Practice. And... adison
(wish i cld get her as my doctor) delivered babies as normal. Thing is , that whole episode revolved around babies and family..
I gladly smiled and fell asleep quite soundly. Around 3 am I woke up to a feeling of intense pain and realized that i was sweating like crazy.. yes yes.. as you guessed, i dreamt i was in labour.. out of all things in the world.. ME... GIVING BIRTH .. ARGH!!!
All i can remember was me in a bath tub, there was a lady in white (nurse perhaps), a pretty hot doctor and a vague image of a guy ( i persume that's the baby's father.. but u see they always are blurry in these dreams). I was having a freaking water birth. It really did freak me out.
For starters, Im not even near that zone and birth literally scares me. I like the kids part but not the growing fat through 9 months and then going through all tht pain (hence I always support adoption). But yday, for the first time, it hit me that this is something I may just have to go through and I can't really evade it if it happens. The water birth sparked a sudden interest in me and my inquisitive nature led me to do a google search on it. To my delight, I found out that it is indeed a great way to give birth and it reduces the pain felt. Besides that, it brings the baby into very familiar surroundings as the womb is filled with fluid anyway.
Thanks to my dream... now I am actually embracing the idea of having my own kids someday and definitively water birth (trust me, I ll make the guy get in the tub with me :P )
Sometimes, messages come to you in the strangest away... i guessed my maternal instict has been awakened.
Yday before going to bed, I watched an episode of Private Practice. And... adison
(wish i cld get her as my doctor) delivered babies as normal. Thing is , that whole episode revolved around babies and family..
I gladly smiled and fell asleep quite soundly. Around 3 am I woke up to a feeling of intense pain and realized that i was sweating like crazy.. yes yes.. as you guessed, i dreamt i was in labour.. out of all things in the world.. ME... GIVING BIRTH .. ARGH!!!
All i can remember was me in a bath tub, there was a lady in white (nurse perhaps), a pretty hot doctor and a vague image of a guy ( i persume that's the baby's father.. but u see they always are blurry in these dreams). I was having a freaking water birth. It really did freak me out.
For starters, Im not even near that zone and birth literally scares me. I like the kids part but not the growing fat through 9 months and then going through all tht pain (hence I always support adoption). But yday, for the first time, it hit me that this is something I may just have to go through and I can't really evade it if it happens. The water birth sparked a sudden interest in me and my inquisitive nature led me to do a google search on it. To my delight, I found out that it is indeed a great way to give birth and it reduces the pain felt. Besides that, it brings the baby into very familiar surroundings as the womb is filled with fluid anyway.
Thanks to my dream... now I am actually embracing the idea of having my own kids someday and definitively water birth (trust me, I ll make the guy get in the tub with me :P )
Sometimes, messages come to you in the strangest away... i guessed my maternal instict has been awakened.
Saturday 25 October 2008
The A.B.C of love in the 21st century.
Being a 20-something woman who lives in world where dating is no hush hush matter, the questions of marriages and love do come up frequently in every other conversation. If its not friend A breaking up, it s friend B having a crush on a guy... or friend C getting married !!
In recent months, Ive noticed most of our conversations revolve around the fact that there are virtually no high quality good men available and utter ridiculous dating habits. Then you get an email from a good friend saying... "I've found him.. ive found Mr. Right". All i can think is.. how the hell did you survive the single scene/ How did dating help you both find each other/ When can i check out of this ridiculously mind consuming game...
See thing is, in my opinion love ain't just falls from the sky no more. There is no boy meet girl, they fall in love and get live happily ever after. It just aint that simple. In today's dating game, the stakes are higher and the equation is no more a mere plus and minus.
My girlfriends and I have spoken about this countless time... n we , women of this 21st demanding century and no longer in need for men to complete us... we want man to be equal partners, to work together to build a life. Some mandatory requirements include :
1. Looks.. looks..looks.. ( there's no need for a brad pitt look alike... just a presentable fellow)
2. Financially secure.. a 100k job wouldnt hurt :P
3. No mummy'sboy.. if we wanted a baby, we would have one.
4. Metrosexual.. bring on the prada, versace, ted baker .
5. Humourous... a Denzel Washigton may be good in bed, but Russell Peters will work better in the long run
and the list goes on...
Speaking on the other side of the ocean , men are no better. They require hotness.. hotness and more hotness... They too want financially independent woman these days. Hence its all a tick for tack.
People are just more open to things to the point that they are no able to settle for something.. there's always the thought, " What if something better comes along ??? "
I would not deny that I can be picky.. but over this past year where I really began to sus out what Im looking for in a man, I believe the more I date, the more things i discover about myself and my taste in men. It also has tested as to how far Id push my principles.... and yeah I seem to be fairly liberal.
Dating has been fantastic, from single cooporate men, to doctors, to divorce hotties...there's a sea of men to date, but not a fish to settle for.
So the dilemma never ends... you can date and date and keep wondering when will you head to that checkout !
In recent months, Ive noticed most of our conversations revolve around the fact that there are virtually no high quality good men available and utter ridiculous dating habits. Then you get an email from a good friend saying... "I've found him.. ive found Mr. Right". All i can think is.. how the hell did you survive the single scene/ How did dating help you both find each other/ When can i check out of this ridiculously mind consuming game...
See thing is, in my opinion love ain't just falls from the sky no more. There is no boy meet girl, they fall in love and get live happily ever after. It just aint that simple. In today's dating game, the stakes are higher and the equation is no more a mere plus and minus.
My girlfriends and I have spoken about this countless time... n we , women of this 21st demanding century and no longer in need for men to complete us... we want man to be equal partners, to work together to build a life. Some mandatory requirements include :
1. Looks.. looks..looks.. ( there's no need for a brad pitt look alike... just a presentable fellow)
2. Financially secure.. a 100k job wouldnt hurt :P
3. No mummy'sboy.. if we wanted a baby, we would have one.
4. Metrosexual.. bring on the prada, versace, ted baker .
5. Humourous... a Denzel Washigton may be good in bed, but Russell Peters will work better in the long run
and the list goes on...
Speaking on the other side of the ocean , men are no better. They require hotness.. hotness and more hotness... They too want financially independent woman these days. Hence its all a tick for tack.
People are just more open to things to the point that they are no able to settle for something.. there's always the thought, " What if something better comes along ??? "
I would not deny that I can be picky.. but over this past year where I really began to sus out what Im looking for in a man, I believe the more I date, the more things i discover about myself and my taste in men. It also has tested as to how far Id push my principles.... and yeah I seem to be fairly liberal.
Dating has been fantastic, from single cooporate men, to doctors, to divorce hotties...there's a sea of men to date, but not a fish to settle for.
So the dilemma never ends... you can date and date and keep wondering when will you head to that checkout !
Friday 17 October 2008
Is mani/pedi the new orgasms of 2000's ??
Ok the title itself gives it away..yes yes I did have a mani and yes yes I did get arouse.. heheh :D
So my blog may not be the most child-friendly blog.. but hey at least I live out in the open and embrace my sexuality as compared to the dozens of women out there who are too embarrasses to even say the word orgasm..
I was in such an overdue of a mani. My nails were beginning to chip of and the sight of it was just awfully disgusting.. long, and unkept. Hence I thought, since it was my last day to a what I can only say a fantastic 2 years at the Eye n Ear hospital.. i ll treat myself to a little mani..
I got all comfy in the chair and in fact I was quite excited about it. The last time i had mani , the feeling was incredible and I was indeed looking fwd to it. The feeling of getting pampered plus a nice massage into my fingers and toes with hand/feet lotion send tingles through my spine.... all I did was shut my eyes and bit my top lip... the feeling was so incredibly sensational , yes it was just or maybe even better than an orgasm ( coz they take much longer to massage ur feet and hands)
As Carrie n Samantha did say, treating and pampering urself to a good mani/pedi or even a hair cut ( when the hairdresser washes ur head and rubs his hands through ur scalp... awwoooo!!) u definetely are left in a state of arousal.. well who needs a man. All i need to do is regular visits to my manicurist and my stylist.. the bonus of it all I feel great and look great at the end of the day ( with sex its just feel great, you don't necessarily look great)
Oh well... as a single woman who embraces every bit of her womanhood... rather than one-night stands and occasional flings.. i rather turn to pampering myself and sqeezing out as much pleasure as i can get from tht.. (no STD'S or babies to think about :D)
So my blog may not be the most child-friendly blog.. but hey at least I live out in the open and embrace my sexuality as compared to the dozens of women out there who are too embarrasses to even say the word orgasm..
I was in such an overdue of a mani. My nails were beginning to chip of and the sight of it was just awfully disgusting.. long, and unkept. Hence I thought, since it was my last day to a what I can only say a fantastic 2 years at the Eye n Ear hospital.. i ll treat myself to a little mani..
I got all comfy in the chair and in fact I was quite excited about it. The last time i had mani , the feeling was incredible and I was indeed looking fwd to it. The feeling of getting pampered plus a nice massage into my fingers and toes with hand/feet lotion send tingles through my spine.... all I did was shut my eyes and bit my top lip... the feeling was so incredibly sensational , yes it was just or maybe even better than an orgasm ( coz they take much longer to massage ur feet and hands)
As Carrie n Samantha did say, treating and pampering urself to a good mani/pedi or even a hair cut ( when the hairdresser washes ur head and rubs his hands through ur scalp... awwoooo!!) u definetely are left in a state of arousal.. well who needs a man. All i need to do is regular visits to my manicurist and my stylist.. the bonus of it all I feel great and look great at the end of the day ( with sex its just feel great, you don't necessarily look great)
Oh well... as a single woman who embraces every bit of her womanhood... rather than one-night stands and occasional flings.. i rather turn to pampering myself and sqeezing out as much pleasure as i can get from tht.. (no STD'S or babies to think about :D)
Wednesday 15 October 2008
Scrambling that rubble to find that "perfect" life..
While having my hot coffee, 2 slices of fruit loaf and the papers ( e-version mind that) in front of me, I scanned through its articles and a piece on Obama did catch my eye.
Hailing from a rather mediocre background, this man may just be the ONE.. that defies all odds to become the first Black president in the history of the USA. It was a dream he had, and a dream that seems almost his today. It probably took a lot of effort and strength and perseverance to be in the position he is today.
It got me thinking, for Obama, this may be his perfect life.. Standing up there in Capitol Hill, taking the oath of presidency in front of the whole world.. heck it , he ll be the most powerful man in the world for crying out loud.
Everyday, i search for that perfect life. I walked down the shopping centers to look for that perfect outfit, I would not leave the house till my hair is perfect, I need to have my accessories up to date.... everything boils down to getting things perfect in your personal context.
It is the time of the year again where the E word takes on my life. My mind tends to wonder a lot in these days. What I have been up too recently, is try understand or plan out what my perfect life should be. I know I want that absolutely perfect job in WHO in Geneva.. now to get it, I need French, I need experience and I need knowledge.. so I am working on getting all 3 of it.
On the other hand..my search for the perfect guy is up too..smart, sexy, romantic, sweet, kind.. bla bla bla...
I try fit in the idea of my perfect career, perfect guy, perfect family in my mind.. and its one task that drains the hell out of me. Movies, songs are a mere camouflage of the perfect life...
I am tired ... I am exhausted.. I just wish i could kick back with a cocktail and let perfect happen... but for now I shall always wonder ...
Hailing from a rather mediocre background, this man may just be the ONE.. that defies all odds to become the first Black president in the history of the USA. It was a dream he had, and a dream that seems almost his today. It probably took a lot of effort and strength and perseverance to be in the position he is today.
It got me thinking, for Obama, this may be his perfect life.. Standing up there in Capitol Hill, taking the oath of presidency in front of the whole world.. heck it , he ll be the most powerful man in the world for crying out loud.
Everyday, i search for that perfect life. I walked down the shopping centers to look for that perfect outfit, I would not leave the house till my hair is perfect, I need to have my accessories up to date.... everything boils down to getting things perfect in your personal context.
It is the time of the year again where the E word takes on my life. My mind tends to wonder a lot in these days. What I have been up too recently, is try understand or plan out what my perfect life should be. I know I want that absolutely perfect job in WHO in Geneva.. now to get it, I need French, I need experience and I need knowledge.. so I am working on getting all 3 of it.
On the other hand..my search for the perfect guy is up too..smart, sexy, romantic, sweet, kind.. bla bla bla...
I try fit in the idea of my perfect career, perfect guy, perfect family in my mind.. and its one task that drains the hell out of me. Movies, songs are a mere camouflage of the perfect life...
I am tired ... I am exhausted.. I just wish i could kick back with a cocktail and let perfect happen... but for now I shall always wonder ...
When will the search for the perfect one end ???
Thursday 9 October 2008
Live and Learn
" History repeats itself"
How true is that ? Though we have been through certain things i life, yet we jump into it again only to realize that the same mistake has been made.
I believe for a lesson to remain enact in a human, a mistake has to be made 3 times. Or 1 time with severe consequences.
In life, why are we always looking for that something.. if its not a great boyfriend, then it s a great career or a great house.. when will searching for the ONE be DONE.
You think as you grow older your decisions are more sounds. But sometimes i do feel, did we get it right all along in high school, when innocence were part of us ?
The world out there is harsh.. and it order to survive it with a mere contentment, you have to be cruel to be kind. To some, I may appear to be someone who makes decisions at the jump of the heartbeat and gets easily swept away by flowers etc.. yea that is true ( which girl isn't), but I also believe you have to be IN it to know that you wanna be OUT it.
On another note, this city Im livin in is full of cute, successful men. I gave my heart completely once, and yes that is one mistake I shall not make again. I can give you my time, but not my heart. Not till I know you are worth my love and that is a hard one to fullfill.
As much as i love my light, low fat food.. I think Im gonna go on a low fat rship from now on..
LIGHT SIMPLE TASTY
@dios !
How true is that ? Though we have been through certain things i life, yet we jump into it again only to realize that the same mistake has been made.
I believe for a lesson to remain enact in a human, a mistake has to be made 3 times. Or 1 time with severe consequences.
In life, why are we always looking for that something.. if its not a great boyfriend, then it s a great career or a great house.. when will searching for the ONE be DONE.
You think as you grow older your decisions are more sounds. But sometimes i do feel, did we get it right all along in high school, when innocence were part of us ?
The world out there is harsh.. and it order to survive it with a mere contentment, you have to be cruel to be kind. To some, I may appear to be someone who makes decisions at the jump of the heartbeat and gets easily swept away by flowers etc.. yea that is true ( which girl isn't), but I also believe you have to be IN it to know that you wanna be OUT it.
On another note, this city Im livin in is full of cute, successful men. I gave my heart completely once, and yes that is one mistake I shall not make again. I can give you my time, but not my heart. Not till I know you are worth my love and that is a hard one to fullfill.
As much as i love my light, low fat food.. I think Im gonna go on a low fat rship from now on..
LIGHT SIMPLE TASTY
@dios !
Tuesday 7 October 2008
Lost in my thoughts
When you have it all,
Why does it feel like you have nothing,
When you love something so much,
Why can't that be yours,
Why is the laws of the universe so harsh,
Why do humans go against humans,
When love is all you need,
To put the pieces back together.
As I stare at the girl in the mirror,
I ask, Who is this ?
Do I recognize her ?
Where has she gone.
From poets, to romance suckers claim that you know when its right,
That is equivalent to " A happy ending",
It is a fantasy that you can just hope to catch in your dreams,
Never existed, Never will.
As I shut my eyes tonight,
I know Ill miss you deeply once again,
The length of time does not matter,
The impact you etched in me does.
Why does it feel like you have nothing,
When you love something so much,
Why can't that be yours,
Why is the laws of the universe so harsh,
Why do humans go against humans,
When love is all you need,
To put the pieces back together.
As I stare at the girl in the mirror,
I ask, Who is this ?
Do I recognize her ?
Where has she gone.
From poets, to romance suckers claim that you know when its right,
That is equivalent to " A happy ending",
It is a fantasy that you can just hope to catch in your dreams,
Never existed, Never will.
As I shut my eyes tonight,
I know Ill miss you deeply once again,
The length of time does not matter,
The impact you etched in me does.
>>> Missing u so very much tonight. If only time and space was not an issue.
Saturday 4 October 2008
What would it be 10 years from now ?
This coming week will mark my official last week at university. Only exams left before i take that plunge into the working world and put my skills and knowledge to the test.
It got me thinking so much about what I want and where I want to be in 10 years from now. I realize I am an extremely ambitious individual. I aspire to be so many great things. Up till now, I have received everything I aspire for.
Falling into a comfort zone is what I fear the most.
Settling is no word in my dictionary.
Hence I developed a creed for myself.. I call it the Book according to Stephanie Louis.
Chapter 1 vs 1:1
10. Always aim to bring SEXY back.
9. Style & Elegance
8. Persuasive- Be Scrappy.
7. Work hard & Persistence
6. Confidence
4. Develop a positive attitude
3. Dream BIG
2. Be Your Own Miracle.
1. LOVE GOD
-- On another note.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest dad and my lovely sister.
I wish i could be there to celebrate this very special day with the both of you. I thank God everyday for blessing me with 2 amazing people that will always be treasured in my heart of hearts.
To my dad : May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shining dreams. You have sacrificed a great deal for the both of us, and we will always appreciate everything you've done for us all through our lives. You've made things easy and comfortable for us. Most importantly , you provided us with valuable lessons that we will carry throughout our lives. Love you always..
To my sister : Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.
I know how much you love celebrating birthdays. I truly wish i can be part of it, but no matter what I'm always there with you in spirit and prayer. I hope you savor in each birthday during your childhood as these are the memories that will walk by you through life. As your sister, I love you very much and will always be there for you.
Love,
Steph
It got me thinking so much about what I want and where I want to be in 10 years from now. I realize I am an extremely ambitious individual. I aspire to be so many great things. Up till now, I have received everything I aspire for.
Falling into a comfort zone is what I fear the most.
Settling is no word in my dictionary.
Hence I developed a creed for myself.. I call it the Book according to Stephanie Louis.
Chapter 1 vs 1:1
10. Always aim to bring SEXY back.
9. Style & Elegance
8. Persuasive- Be Scrappy.
7. Work hard & Persistence
6. Confidence
4. Develop a positive attitude
3. Dream BIG
2. Be Your Own Miracle.
1. LOVE GOD
-- On another note.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest dad and my lovely sister.
I wish i could be there to celebrate this very special day with the both of you. I thank God everyday for blessing me with 2 amazing people that will always be treasured in my heart of hearts.
To my dad : May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shining dreams. You have sacrificed a great deal for the both of us, and we will always appreciate everything you've done for us all through our lives. You've made things easy and comfortable for us. Most importantly , you provided us with valuable lessons that we will carry throughout our lives. Love you always..
To my sister : Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.
I know how much you love celebrating birthdays. I truly wish i can be part of it, but no matter what I'm always there with you in spirit and prayer. I hope you savor in each birthday during your childhood as these are the memories that will walk by you through life. As your sister, I love you very much and will always be there for you.
Love,
Steph
Monday 8 September 2008
One step at a time
My days have been spent lazing around my lounge room, listening to lectopia.. eating.. sleeping... chatting..eating again.. more chatting.. i feel so incredibly lazy..
Nevertheless, over this past week, i've really gotten into this whole chatting thing. It kinda wonderful to look foward to talk to someone. My usual routine starts off at about 12 pm with me chatting to him and it goes on right till 5, while we do our work... then continues from 8 pm till 2 or 3 am
It's amazing how me and ( well he is gonna be Mr.X-tall) Mr.X-tall connects. I am actually looking foward to return to Melb to meet this TDH guy.. heehe
Well for now it s all one step at a time :P
Nevertheless, over this past week, i've really gotten into this whole chatting thing. It kinda wonderful to look foward to talk to someone. My usual routine starts off at about 12 pm with me chatting to him and it goes on right till 5, while we do our work... then continues from 8 pm till 2 or 3 am
It's amazing how me and ( well he is gonna be Mr.X-tall) Mr.X-tall connects. I am actually looking foward to return to Melb to meet this TDH guy.. heehe
Well for now it s all one step at a time :P
Thursday 4 September 2008
Wednesday 3 September 2008
It's so Surreal !!
OMG..i can't believe im on msian soil..
It's been Day 2 and yet it still have to pinch myself. The last I left home, i programed my mind that I will only come back to this land after a year. But to much surprise Im back after just a mere 2 months.
In a way I am glad. Though I came back in such unfortunate circumstances, Im still BACK !!
Im getting better and I really would like to thank everyone for their concerns and well wishes. My good friends in Melb have been so awesome ( HY, YZ, WL, & SK). Thanks so much for everything guys... without ur support I would have been really down..
From this experience I have realise that we cant always plan everything. Things crop up very unexpectedly in life. Today im here , tomorrow I may be there.. life is so UNDEFINED.
I hope i recover and that too quick and completely. As what my dad said " home is the best medicine.. so now u just rest. "
I thank God everyday for such amazing parents that do everything in my best interest. I also am very blessed to have the financial capacity to just fly back whenever. Family is the most important thing in life.. and Im sure with them around , Ill bounce back in no time..
It's late but I have been sleeping for the past 12 hours.. I shall retired to bed AGAIN.. as I have an early date with the ENT specialist
Ciows.. and thanks to all :)
It's been Day 2 and yet it still have to pinch myself. The last I left home, i programed my mind that I will only come back to this land after a year. But to much surprise Im back after just a mere 2 months.
In a way I am glad. Though I came back in such unfortunate circumstances, Im still BACK !!
Im getting better and I really would like to thank everyone for their concerns and well wishes. My good friends in Melb have been so awesome ( HY, YZ, WL, & SK). Thanks so much for everything guys... without ur support I would have been really down..
From this experience I have realise that we cant always plan everything. Things crop up very unexpectedly in life. Today im here , tomorrow I may be there.. life is so UNDEFINED.
I hope i recover and that too quick and completely. As what my dad said " home is the best medicine.. so now u just rest. "
I thank God everyday for such amazing parents that do everything in my best interest. I also am very blessed to have the financial capacity to just fly back whenever. Family is the most important thing in life.. and Im sure with them around , Ill bounce back in no time..
It's late but I have been sleeping for the past 12 hours.. I shall retired to bed AGAIN.. as I have an early date with the ENT specialist
Ciows.. and thanks to all :)
Sunday 24 August 2008
Thursday 21 August 2008
The glitz and glam of the Ball
F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C
Tht's how I'd sum up the ball last night. The atmosphere was so awesome. People were great, everyone looked so incredibly gorgeous. It was all so overwhelming.
It was my first pharmacy ball and indeed my last one. Now i regret not attending all the previous year's Ball's ..
The whole night was indeed magical. And I think what makes it very special is having fun with your good friends. Dancing to tunes from the 80's with my closest uni buddies was a perfect end to my 4 year undergrad. The energy and laughter is one which would etch in my memory for years to come.
All in all I had an awesome time !!! wohoo !!
Tuesday 12 August 2008
The attack of the damn *BUG*
Just as my motivation soars to get this diet on the roll and get back into shape.. I had to come under the attack of the flu bug.
Day 2 of my diet and i was coughing away like there's no tmrw. I was sitting in a pile of tissue paper, in my bath robe looking no less than pathetic. I just hate the flu. You're not that sick till you can't function, but you're sick enough to stay home from work and be of no use.
My body works like a magic clock in terms of getting the flu. Every August , without fail for the past 3 years I have been sick. It's like my body tells the germs in the air... " hey, it s August.. We've given her a break for a year.. time to invade friends". And before i know it.. Kabum!!!! I'm sniffing the night away.
It's times like this where I truly appreciate Alexander Fleming for stumbling over penincillin.. the only weapon that would get rid of these bugs. Of course , when Im cramming my head full of AB info... i despise it and curse their very existence.. but oh no.. when im sick, I run to their aid..
Coming from a pseudo-medical family, I have been granted the opportunity to self-treat. My mum packed me a good supply of all types of AB ranging from penincillins, to bactrim, to cephlosporins.. one for each disease that I frequently come under. And of course, being a pharmacy student.. i managed to obtain some good ol decongestants with absolute ease.
Right now , I have about a million things that I know i should be doing. But .. im SICK !!!
So i ll just stay in bed.. put my warm robe on, sip on lemon tea and watch desperate housewives
( I did say I can still function :P ) ..
Toodles...
Day 2 of my diet and i was coughing away like there's no tmrw. I was sitting in a pile of tissue paper, in my bath robe looking no less than pathetic. I just hate the flu. You're not that sick till you can't function, but you're sick enough to stay home from work and be of no use.
My body works like a magic clock in terms of getting the flu. Every August , without fail for the past 3 years I have been sick. It's like my body tells the germs in the air... " hey, it s August.. We've given her a break for a year.. time to invade friends". And before i know it.. Kabum!!!! I'm sniffing the night away.
It's times like this where I truly appreciate Alexander Fleming for stumbling over penincillin.. the only weapon that would get rid of these bugs. Of course , when Im cramming my head full of AB info... i despise it and curse their very existence.. but oh no.. when im sick, I run to their aid..
Coming from a pseudo-medical family, I have been granted the opportunity to self-treat. My mum packed me a good supply of all types of AB ranging from penincillins, to bactrim, to cephlosporins.. one for each disease that I frequently come under. And of course, being a pharmacy student.. i managed to obtain some good ol decongestants with absolute ease.
Right now , I have about a million things that I know i should be doing. But .. im SICK !!!
So i ll just stay in bed.. put my warm robe on, sip on lemon tea and watch desperate housewives
( I did say I can still function :P ) ..
Toodles...
Friday 1 August 2008
and Back to the regular showing...
So I'm back in melb after 7 long weeks away. 4 of which was fantastic (in Msia) and another 3 in Traralgon ( not so great but bearable). Though Melb has been my home for the past 4 years i find it hard to utter the word "home" when i refer to melb in any of my casual conversations. I guess my body may walk the streets of melbourne, but my soul still resides in Klang.
Enough of sentiment talk...now this is the dawn of my last sem... last.. did i say LAST semester of pharmacy. Im quite glad to be frank. I can't wait to put my skills to the test and see the all the hard earn cash rolling in.
I have a few things lined for me this semester. The first challenge on my "to do" list is to get into shape.. and i dont just mean loosing weight.. i want steamy hot.. curvy ..mariah type bod. All that holiday fat has to just GOOOOO!!!
Now to achieve that I would require a lot of discipline.. which I greatly lack in. I got a dear buddy to motivate me and keep my spirits high when my cravings for a chocolate mud cake soars high. I started my 21-day DIET plan... guys and girls.. this is not a FAD diet. It's highly recommened by nutritionist and dietitians in Australia.. and from trials, if you stick to the plan, the weight would drop.. of course with exercise as well.
The key point to loosing body fat is to have greater output of energy than input. Meaning the fat intake should be wayy less than the fat output. By doing this, your body will tend to use up your natural fat stores to offset the energy difference. And WALAH ... THE FAT IS OFF!!
So Im gonna use this blog as my journey through this next 3 weeks. I have stocked my fridge up with carrots.. cucumbers, rock melons to snack on... hopefully i can tahan not having the occasional chocolate chip cookie.
To me, it s not just about loosing weight and looking awesome. It s about being fit, and feeling healthy.
Today marked my first day into my diet.. I had muesli for breakfast, 3 pieces of walnut bagguete and ham for lunch and tuna, egg salad for dinner. I snacked on 2 pieces of kiwi fruit and some cheerie tomatoes. I feel good.. and happy that I indeed succeed today and am looking fwd to tmrw.
I shall be heading to bed soon.. yes yes i know it s only 9.30 pm but from today my bed time is 10.00 pm and I shall be up by 6.00 am for a run...
Till next time..
Enough of sentiment talk...now this is the dawn of my last sem... last.. did i say LAST semester of pharmacy. Im quite glad to be frank. I can't wait to put my skills to the test and see the all the hard earn cash rolling in.
I have a few things lined for me this semester. The first challenge on my "to do" list is to get into shape.. and i dont just mean loosing weight.. i want steamy hot.. curvy ..mariah type bod. All that holiday fat has to just GOOOOO!!!
Now to achieve that I would require a lot of discipline.. which I greatly lack in. I got a dear buddy to motivate me and keep my spirits high when my cravings for a chocolate mud cake soars high. I started my 21-day DIET plan... guys and girls.. this is not a FAD diet. It's highly recommened by nutritionist and dietitians in Australia.. and from trials, if you stick to the plan, the weight would drop.. of course with exercise as well.
The key point to loosing body fat is to have greater output of energy than input. Meaning the fat intake should be wayy less than the fat output. By doing this, your body will tend to use up your natural fat stores to offset the energy difference. And WALAH ... THE FAT IS OFF!!
So Im gonna use this blog as my journey through this next 3 weeks. I have stocked my fridge up with carrots.. cucumbers, rock melons to snack on... hopefully i can tahan not having the occasional chocolate chip cookie.
To me, it s not just about loosing weight and looking awesome. It s about being fit, and feeling healthy.
Today marked my first day into my diet.. I had muesli for breakfast, 3 pieces of walnut bagguete and ham for lunch and tuna, egg salad for dinner. I snacked on 2 pieces of kiwi fruit and some cheerie tomatoes. I feel good.. and happy that I indeed succeed today and am looking fwd to tmrw.
I shall be heading to bed soon.. yes yes i know it s only 9.30 pm but from today my bed time is 10.00 pm and I shall be up by 6.00 am for a run...
Till next time..
Saturday 26 July 2008
The Superwoman... yes I am :)
There is superman, batman, spiderman .. all man. Well get ready men ... it's time for the women to clinch the super title for once.
Women need not wear tight underwear outside their clothes to demonstrate their heroic strength. Neither do we need to fly places to solve crimes or climb unimaginable heights to save the city. All we need is our confidence, and inner strength.
Women wear a big red "S" on their chest.
In my life, I am indeed trying to find that superwoman in me. Many things have happened in my life which has moulded me into becoming that superwoman . Now more than ever, I feel confident bout myself, my decisions and my future.
Living alone and moving out of home has been the best thing I have done for myself. I know it seems crazy to come to that assumption, but I am a better woman for it. The strength that I have gained emotionally is so great, no amount of experience in Malaysia would be able to compensate for it. Independence and sense of responsibility has taken on a deeper meaning in my life.
A tough relationship , with many ups and downs did add to the rich experience and made me all the more mature than what I ever imagined I could be. Making new friends and leaving old ones were just as tough .
As I take my final walk as a student, as a dependent of my parents, I can only look back with a smile for all the experiences that I have gained. All the misery, tears, laughter and joy has given me a sense of confidence to a point where I can say " Yes.. I am going to be alright in life". This should not be confused with arrogance, but just confidence that even If i fail or go through anymore downs, I know I 'll be able to whisk out it.
I believe I am still looking to find the better part in me.
My only focus in life right now is getting a kick start in my career, working towards a " oh ur so hot" image , travel ..... men can hop on board for a ride but I'lll drive and stop the car whenever it suits me .. :)
Till next time ..
Women need not wear tight underwear outside their clothes to demonstrate their heroic strength. Neither do we need to fly places to solve crimes or climb unimaginable heights to save the city. All we need is our confidence, and inner strength.
Women wear a big red "S" on their chest.
In my life, I am indeed trying to find that superwoman in me. Many things have happened in my life which has moulded me into becoming that superwoman . Now more than ever, I feel confident bout myself, my decisions and my future.
Living alone and moving out of home has been the best thing I have done for myself. I know it seems crazy to come to that assumption, but I am a better woman for it. The strength that I have gained emotionally is so great, no amount of experience in Malaysia would be able to compensate for it. Independence and sense of responsibility has taken on a deeper meaning in my life.
A tough relationship , with many ups and downs did add to the rich experience and made me all the more mature than what I ever imagined I could be. Making new friends and leaving old ones were just as tough .
As I take my final walk as a student, as a dependent of my parents, I can only look back with a smile for all the experiences that I have gained. All the misery, tears, laughter and joy has given me a sense of confidence to a point where I can say " Yes.. I am going to be alright in life". This should not be confused with arrogance, but just confidence that even If i fail or go through anymore downs, I know I 'll be able to whisk out it.
I believe I am still looking to find the better part in me.
My only focus in life right now is getting a kick start in my career, working towards a " oh ur so hot" image , travel ..... men can hop on board for a ride but I'lll drive and stop the car whenever it suits me .. :)
Till next time ..
Sunday 20 July 2008
Here I go AGAIN !!!
So.. im back in boring ol' melb..
Its 430 am and I can't sleep. I'm feeling soo... ARGH !!!
Day 2 of me being in Melb has come and gone.. and what did I learn ???
>>>> Out of sight, out of mind !!
One day of calls and sms'es and then none.. stop... gone !!
Who is the fool in this ?? It's not like I did not see this coming. After all that was the deal... "just friends". ( Man how i hate those 2 words)
Well... I think i HAVE to sleep now.
ps : Steph is not looking fwd to rural placement... im not a country girl ok !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its 430 am and I can't sleep. I'm feeling soo... ARGH !!!
Day 2 of me being in Melb has come and gone.. and what did I learn ???
>>>> Out of sight, out of mind !!
One day of calls and sms'es and then none.. stop... gone !!
Who is the fool in this ?? It's not like I did not see this coming. After all that was the deal... "just friends". ( Man how i hate those 2 words)
Well... I think i HAVE to sleep now.
ps : Steph is not looking fwd to rural placement... im not a country girl ok !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday 14 July 2008
The times for goodbyes...
Selamat Tinggal..
Au Revoir..
Sayonara..
Cioa..
Shalom..
So long to all my friends who have indeed taken a keen interest in making my holidays as memorable as possible. If I could describe my holidays, no words could match up to it except that it was FANTASTIC X 10
Reconnecting with all my friends has been the highlight for me esp since I would not be home for a while. Thank you so much for making time out of your busy schedules to keep me entertained.
I am really gonna miss every single one. To Carina, you've actually not only given me an absolutely fantastic holiday, but also taught me a thing or two about love and men. Your're the woman!! I hope i can gain your strength someday.
Joanne, Joo Li and Intan.. my gals.. Im gonna miss you fellas so much. I'm so glad that everytime we meet, there is so much of laughter, happiness and a connection that is so damn awesome.
I shall miss Mr. X. I really would. It's sad tht things cannot materialize, but that's life eh ?? Just not meant to happen. Im glad i got to spent time with you however short it was and thanks for all the incredible times. Will be missing you too...
Last but certainly not least.. im gonna miss my family big time. Im gonan miss the laughter, and the closeness.
Till next time...
Gees.. why can't stop one ??? I have to go to bed soon.. got ba ku teh tmrw morning with Miss Carina ( official shopping and food guide for my holidays )
okok .. sigining off..
Adios :)
Au Revoir..
Sayonara..
Cioa..
Shalom..
So long to all my friends who have indeed taken a keen interest in making my holidays as memorable as possible. If I could describe my holidays, no words could match up to it except that it was FANTASTIC X 10
Reconnecting with all my friends has been the highlight for me esp since I would not be home for a while. Thank you so much for making time out of your busy schedules to keep me entertained.
I am really gonna miss every single one. To Carina, you've actually not only given me an absolutely fantastic holiday, but also taught me a thing or two about love and men. Your're the woman!! I hope i can gain your strength someday.
Joanne, Joo Li and Intan.. my gals.. Im gonna miss you fellas so much. I'm so glad that everytime we meet, there is so much of laughter, happiness and a connection that is so damn awesome.
I shall miss Mr. X. I really would. It's sad tht things cannot materialize, but that's life eh ?? Just not meant to happen. Im glad i got to spent time with you however short it was and thanks for all the incredible times. Will be missing you too...
Last but certainly not least.. im gonna miss my family big time. Im gonan miss the laughter, and the closeness.
Till next time...
Gees.. why can't stop one ??? I have to go to bed soon.. got ba ku teh tmrw morning with Miss Carina ( official shopping and food guide for my holidays )
okok .. sigining off..
Adios :)
Just Say It.
Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations.
Say what you need to say.
Walkin' like a one man army,
Fightin' with the shadows in your head.
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...Say what you need to say
Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open.
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to, Say what you need to...
Say what you need to say.
don't hold it back as you may not get this chance again
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations.
Say what you need to say.
Walkin' like a one man army,
Fightin' with the shadows in your head.
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...Say what you need to say
Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open.
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to, Say what you need to...
Say what you need to say.
don't hold it back as you may not get this chance again
Monday 7 July 2008
And the saga continues..
It's 3am..
I can't sleep.
I'm so disturbed. I vowed never to fall into this trap again, but yet i did.
Why do I always fall for the unavailable ?
Why doesn't my heart open to the available folk?
Where do I misread the signs?
Sure you say you feel the same. But.. there is always a but..
If it's not time, its space that comes in between.
Life is so complicated. Everything I desire deems to be out of my reach.
Yes, I knew it be a "mission impossible", but somewhere in my perky heart, I thought there would be a chance.
But I know it's all going to be good. It's not like there is true love. There's only disappointment, and a slightly bumped up heart.
On the happier note, I did find myself a good friend. Maybe Mr. X is right afterall.
What good can come out of a 2 months a year relationship?
I should have known better.
Oh well, only time will tell. I guess I am going to CHECK OUT from the whole dating scenario for a looong looong time.
It's too hard.
I hope you find yourself that "ideal girl" you talk about. I wish you all the love in the world, and from here on we'll be friends.. and only friends..
Signing of with a mellow heart...
Saturday 5 July 2008
The Phuket Escapade
Hey folks.. so the phuket trip is finally over. Back to good ol msia.
I had so much fun indeed. It was a really good trip. Family orientated ( if ya know what I mean). The whole area is so touristy. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Price wise, it can get real expensive. For the rest, it s quite nice and westernize. I'd love to go back again, but with friends this time around to hit the night clubs and sip on the nite life down there.
Phi Phi Island was indeed breathtaking. The caves, rocks and the entire set up was just so incredibly scenic. I am pretty amaze at the Thai's and how they behave. They can be damn sweet and very very nice ppl.. but, when you don't wanna purchase stuff from them they can be plain out rude. They also practice double std's in terms of treatment to public. The whites get better treatment than asians (which is obvious since they are the one who do not haggle) .
Next stop is the thai names.. damn they crack me up. Our taxi driver was called Bum.. imagine being called bum every single day. How sad. I know i should not be laughing at ppl's name/ cultures but just can't help it la... it s toooo hilarious :)
Food wise.. well i was a little disappointed. I was hoping for hot, spicy till my face goes red type food.. but instead I got all the mild chinese type food. Not that i do not like those, I just was looking for something different. The Thai's have indeed modified their food to fit the westerners taste.. what a bummer !!
Another thing which caught my eye was the Thai women. There were heaps and heaps of white guys with an "ugly" Thai women on their arms. Im not lying but these men seem buffed, handsome looking , but the Thai women they are with are all so OH MY GOD.. !!I came up with a theory saying maybe they can't afford the hot thai women. And if your in it just for the sex.. who cares about the face.. anybody would do as long as there is action :)
Now about the eye candy. Everyone was just ooozing with sex appeal. I did a little analysis on the hotties strutting around. From my careful observations I have come up with the following ranking of absolute hotness :
1. Americans
2. French
3. Germans
4. Brits
5. Australians
Sorry to say.. but aussies are waaayyyy out. The blonde, disheveled , surfer boy look ain't that hot anymore. Americans on the other hand are just oooooozing with sex appeal. Their bodies were like WOW !! their accent is like hot hot hot and their style is incredible. (Now i wish i choose USA as my study destination)
Well tht's all for now.. I've put up some pics on FB. Hope to go to Phuket again soon with some good friends..
Signing off to lunch......
Monday 30 June 2008
The post-date blues
Ok.. so I have a story.. its scandalous.. emotional... annoying.. and frustrating all at one go.
For the purpose of this story.. i shall refer to this person as Mr. X ( I'd use BIG but i don't think he fits into a BIG category.. and im not sure if Im Carrie enough)
So Mr. X and I met.. usual boy meets girl thingy. He is great bla bla bla. Our rship was more cyber than anything else (considering that Im right down south and Mr. X lives somewhere on the equator).
Indeed the time came and we finally broke the mystery behind those chat boxes. It was a pleasant surprise. No disappointments etc. Im a woman who has been on a substantial amount of dates to rank this one as one of the best.. problem is...WAS THIS A DATE ???
That has been bugging me like maddddd since i came back from it. I have not dated "this breed" of ppl in a while to make a call as to whether im progressing in the right track or not. Men down south are more open.. clear cut and you sure hell know ur on a date by the end of it ( the good night kiss .. if you weren't already guessing).
The post date is indeed the horrifying part. It's like waiting for a verdict from the jury. You're either sentenced to REJECTION.. or proceed to the next level. And boy.. i hate this feeling.
Will he call ? will he not.. bla bla. You say to yourself.. it s not like a care.. but it doesn't always turn out that way. The brave front, whatever attitude can come down.
Ok back to me then... So Mr. X did SMS post date. Mr. X did indicate a possibility of a second meet up. The term chosen "MEET UP" not date.
I guess it's just to hard to even guess what's going on in a man's head post date. Just gotta hope for the best.. and what i learnt is.. you only feel bit queasy for the first 24 hours. After that, its be like.. Mr. WhO ??
Well Im gonna be lazing on Katta beach in Phuket for the next one week. I'm sure by the time i get home it definetely be Mr. Who ?? Rumour has it, Phuket has a lot of hot gorgeous European men... Im definetely gonna get me some eye candy.. heheh
Till next week..
For the purpose of this story.. i shall refer to this person as Mr. X ( I'd use BIG but i don't think he fits into a BIG category.. and im not sure if Im Carrie enough)
So Mr. X and I met.. usual boy meets girl thingy. He is great bla bla bla. Our rship was more cyber than anything else (considering that Im right down south and Mr. X lives somewhere on the equator).
Indeed the time came and we finally broke the mystery behind those chat boxes. It was a pleasant surprise. No disappointments etc. Im a woman who has been on a substantial amount of dates to rank this one as one of the best.. problem is...WAS THIS A DATE ???
That has been bugging me like maddddd since i came back from it. I have not dated "this breed" of ppl in a while to make a call as to whether im progressing in the right track or not. Men down south are more open.. clear cut and you sure hell know ur on a date by the end of it ( the good night kiss .. if you weren't already guessing).
The post date is indeed the horrifying part. It's like waiting for a verdict from the jury. You're either sentenced to REJECTION.. or proceed to the next level. And boy.. i hate this feeling.
Will he call ? will he not.. bla bla. You say to yourself.. it s not like a care.. but it doesn't always turn out that way. The brave front, whatever attitude can come down.
Ok back to me then... So Mr. X did SMS post date. Mr. X did indicate a possibility of a second meet up. The term chosen "MEET UP" not date.
I guess it's just to hard to even guess what's going on in a man's head post date. Just gotta hope for the best.. and what i learnt is.. you only feel bit queasy for the first 24 hours. After that, its be like.. Mr. WhO ??
Well Im gonna be lazing on Katta beach in Phuket for the next one week. I'm sure by the time i get home it definetely be Mr. Who ?? Rumour has it, Phuket has a lot of hot gorgeous European men... Im definetely gonna get me some eye candy.. heheh
Till next week..
Saturday 21 June 2008
The Shopping and the City ..
Oh don't you just love this time of the year when all you see as you step out of your oh so chic city apt is "SALES"..
yes.. my fellow women.. stock take sales have indeed dawned upon us in the southern hemisphere and Im guessing summer sales have spurred up for our women counterparts in the northern side of the world.
I went on a "mini" shopping spree in midst my exams as I just couldn't resists the sales. Besides that, using the excuse " I need to buy stuff to take home".. just makes me feel so much better about going.
I noticed my fashion sense and trend has indeed changed over the past year. For starters.. i have began to develop an eye for specialist designers (mm i think the pay cheques that come in every week have stimulated this new found love.. bad bad !! )
I too am in love with the whole retro sophisticated, jackie kennedy look.. man it s so chic, sexy.. and not to forget ELEGANT.. high waisted skirts and A line skirts are some of my top picks for this season.
Overalls are also in style and have indeed caught my eye.. matched with gorgeous oversized bags and patterned tights.. :)
The business look is another area Im so enjoying this season. Using interviews as an excuse for business wear shopping is not an excuse but alas.. Who cares!! .. its sure does help with the guilt !
Gorgeous shirts by Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfinger.. with a beautifully tailored pant suit with matching jacket from MNG.. are some of my great loves.
aaaa.. i can go on rambling bout clothes like.. FOREVER.. but i guess i gotta stop..
The clothes are all nice and good when its there to be worn.. but boy i hate the laundry. Sadly, that is what I shall be retiring to do now..
Adios.. till next time .. :)
Enjoy shopping !
yes.. my fellow women.. stock take sales have indeed dawned upon us in the southern hemisphere and Im guessing summer sales have spurred up for our women counterparts in the northern side of the world.
I went on a "mini" shopping spree in midst my exams as I just couldn't resists the sales. Besides that, using the excuse " I need to buy stuff to take home".. just makes me feel so much better about going.
I noticed my fashion sense and trend has indeed changed over the past year. For starters.. i have began to develop an eye for specialist designers (mm i think the pay cheques that come in every week have stimulated this new found love.. bad bad !! )
I too am in love with the whole retro sophisticated, jackie kennedy look.. man it s so chic, sexy.. and not to forget ELEGANT.. high waisted skirts and A line skirts are some of my top picks for this season.
Overalls are also in style and have indeed caught my eye.. matched with gorgeous oversized bags and patterned tights.. :)
The business look is another area Im so enjoying this season. Using interviews as an excuse for business wear shopping is not an excuse but alas.. Who cares!! .. its sure does help with the guilt !
Gorgeous shirts by Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfinger.. with a beautifully tailored pant suit with matching jacket from MNG.. are some of my great loves.
aaaa.. i can go on rambling bout clothes like.. FOREVER.. but i guess i gotta stop..
The clothes are all nice and good when its there to be worn.. but boy i hate the laundry. Sadly, that is what I shall be retiring to do now..
Adios.. till next time .. :)
Enjoy shopping !
Sunday 15 June 2008
The New age of Hedonism ..
This is an article that I came across this morning while reading The Star. It actually does sum up the lives and times of the 20-something Malaysian.
Welcome to the "fubu" era --- NO STRINGS ATTACHED !!
"A COUPLE of weeks ago, I picked up a new word, “fubu”, which, I was told, is short for f*** buddy.
A fubu is someone that you have a relationship with which is not committed, but if you want sex, he is there for you. But the fubu can be the partner of another person too. It was a gay friend who told me this and initially I thought it was common only in gay circles.
Recently I was told that fubus can be found in heterosexual circles too. I was told of 20-something girls who pick up men in clubs and, if they are in the mood, they bed them without blinking an eye. And later on, if either party is in the mood, they just call or SMS each other to fix a tryst.
And these are not the screwed-up kids from broken homes or who had suffered abuse and want to take it out against a society or system that failed them. These are well-educated young adults from good, stable middle-class families who lack nothing. They know what they want, they are aware of what they are doing, they know the consequences of sex with multiple partners such as the possibility of getting AIDS and other STDs or unwanted pregnancies (“I use protection” is the buzz phrase), but they throw caution to the wind and reach out to grab whatever that satisfies them, even if it is transient.
This is the new age in which hedonism and nihilism reign supreme. Morality has been tossed into the rear seat. Pleasure has taken over the wheel and is taking young Malaysians on a wild ride on the fast lane.
And I thought such hedonistic and amoral pursuits existed only in the West and Sex and the City.
My peers may, of course, call me a hypocrite. I confess that I am not overly proud of the hijinks (now, that’s a word from the 1980s) I was embroiled in when I was in my 20s.
But the way the fubus and good-time gals do their thing with such nonchalant abandon shocks even an old rogue like me. Perhaps I have become too conservative even as I am ageing gracefully and have become what young people these days call Ol' Skool but I grew up during a time when first there was love, then there was sex. Now there is sex, and then there is nothing.
Perhaps it is due to this age of instant gratification. We want things done NOW. We want to be satisfied NOW. And we curse the telcos and Streamyx when there is no service or when the downloading takes too long. What young folks want now is not just video on demand; it is sex on demand.
Parenting experts will tell you to instil good moral and religious values in your children from young, shower them with love and attention, spend time with them and guide them along the way to adolescence so that they will grow up to be responsible, mature and respectable adults.
Frankly, you still have to keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best because no matter how much care is taken when bringing up kids, some are bound to stray.
As a middle-aged father of three sons, the eldest of whom will soon reach puberty, I am really worried. Let me tell you about one of parenting’s worst-kept secrets – one of the greatest fears of modern parents is that their child may turn gay. Now you can add fubu to the list."
Saturday 14 June 2008
Ne-Yo - When You 're Mad
Gees.. this song is stuck in my head..
I just had to post in on my blog (in between my mountains of clinical)
Enjoy !
Friday 13 June 2008
D.E.N.I.A.L
How often do we find ourselves in this state of mind ??
DENIAL is just one of the most common places we all let our selves slip into once in a while. Its the safety net to reality. It is the little shack that protects us from the violent winds. Or the little umbrella that we all squeeze under to escape the torrents of a thunderstorm.
Just as the saying goes.. all good things must come to an end. And so must the denial phase. The euphoria or "high" that it brings us must evaporate like mere alcohol on a litmus sheet.
I ended my state of denial today. It was as though the " Stephanie" who was floating up there was laughing at the " Stephanie" down on earth and going.... what the hell were you thinking ???
It's sad to realize that your hopes cannot be materialize but shall only disintegrate into ashes of dust. However, isn't it better to put a fullstop to all the dreaming and hoping and false happiness .. as at the end of the day you know nothing is going to happen.
Though I am sad to have snapped out of my denial phase, I am glad to have done it now rather than later. Getting hurt once again would be the last thing i ever want .. not this year at least. I tried get back into the game, but its too scary. It's waters that I am unfamiliar to play with. I loved my comfort zone.. i miss the coziness of it ( where i could hurdle up and sleep peacefully). I hate the unknown territory. I tried a few attempts to it, but it all failed. Maybe I'm missing something.. maybe im not doing it right .. maybe I'm just not ready.
Whatever it is, I am looking forward to this acquaintance. That is all I am hoping for right now. Let time take its course and unravel the mystery of my life.
Till then I shall leave you with a fav quote of mine :
" Denial (The Nile) is not just a river in Egypt, it s a freaking ocean"
-NiTZ-
DENIAL is just one of the most common places we all let our selves slip into once in a while. Its the safety net to reality. It is the little shack that protects us from the violent winds. Or the little umbrella that we all squeeze under to escape the torrents of a thunderstorm.
Just as the saying goes.. all good things must come to an end. And so must the denial phase. The euphoria or "high" that it brings us must evaporate like mere alcohol on a litmus sheet.
I ended my state of denial today. It was as though the " Stephanie" who was floating up there was laughing at the " Stephanie" down on earth and going.... what the hell were you thinking ???
It's sad to realize that your hopes cannot be materialize but shall only disintegrate into ashes of dust. However, isn't it better to put a fullstop to all the dreaming and hoping and false happiness .. as at the end of the day you know nothing is going to happen.
Though I am sad to have snapped out of my denial phase, I am glad to have done it now rather than later. Getting hurt once again would be the last thing i ever want .. not this year at least. I tried get back into the game, but its too scary. It's waters that I am unfamiliar to play with. I loved my comfort zone.. i miss the coziness of it ( where i could hurdle up and sleep peacefully). I hate the unknown territory. I tried a few attempts to it, but it all failed. Maybe I'm missing something.. maybe im not doing it right .. maybe I'm just not ready.
Whatever it is, I am looking forward to this acquaintance. That is all I am hoping for right now. Let time take its course and unravel the mystery of my life.
Till then I shall leave you with a fav quote of mine :
" Denial (The Nile) is not just a river in Egypt, it s a freaking ocean"
-NiTZ-
Monday 9 June 2008
Ish ...geram betul !
Tis the season where im just all cranky .. moody... annoyed.. pissed off
It's like im on PMS 24/7. Perhaps I am indeed.. PRE MEMORIZING SYNDROME!!
All this memorizing is driving me nuts. From the tens and tens of disease states.. to countless no of drug coupled with their side effect profile and resistance.. argh.. I can't take it anymore !!
but on a happier note.. I have only 14days to fly back to ma home.. ma lovely home :)
---->Steph is falling asleep at her pc.. the effects of pcol is wining off.. shhhhh
It's like im on PMS 24/7. Perhaps I am indeed.. PRE MEMORIZING SYNDROME!!
All this memorizing is driving me nuts. From the tens and tens of disease states.. to countless no of drug coupled with their side effect profile and resistance.. argh.. I can't take it anymore !!
but on a happier note.. I have only 14days to fly back to ma home.. ma lovely home :)
---->Steph is falling asleep at her pc.. the effects of pcol is wining off.. shhhhh
Thursday 5 June 2008
And I have decided
Well the time has come for me to decide the path I should descend on.. and the verdict is..
ROYAL CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL/CSL BIOTHERAPEUTICS
After much consideration and going back and forth I decided to take the challenge.. hell yeah, it s gonna be a hard.. hard.. year but I think I would be highly rewarded at the end of it all.
From this I have seen how God has worked his way in my life. I could only dream about attaining such a position when i first joined pharmacy.
Now that all my dreams and hopes are realizing before me, I see the challenges that the future holds. It looks promising alright, but scary at the same time.
Making this decision was the toughest for me yet. So many opinions and views were taken into consideration and I feel blessed to have such an opportunity to even have multiple considerations.
Stepping into this new chapter of my life appears to be very interesting. I can't wait to see what promise my future holds. Four years ago I would not even dream of such a thing. And today , all I can say is BRING IT ON !!
PS : A big THANK YOU to everyone who helped me make my decision. All your views/opinions are deeply appreciated.. special thanks to Mum n Dad for listening too all my wining every single day.. I hope this has made you proud of you little girl.. and yes Im not so little anymore :)
Love you guys .. ALWAYS !!
From this I have seen how God has worked his way in my life. I could only dream about attaining such a position when i first joined pharmacy.
Now that all my dreams and hopes are realizing before me, I see the challenges that the future holds. It looks promising alright, but scary at the same time.
Making this decision was the toughest for me yet. So many opinions and views were taken into consideration and I feel blessed to have such an opportunity to even have multiple considerations.
Stepping into this new chapter of my life appears to be very interesting. I can't wait to see what promise my future holds. Four years ago I would not even dream of such a thing. And today , all I can say is BRING IT ON !!
PS : A big THANK YOU to everyone who helped me make my decision. All your views/opinions are deeply appreciated.. special thanks to Mum n Dad for listening too all my wining every single day.. I hope this has made you proud of you little girl.. and yes Im not so little anymore :)
Love you guys .. ALWAYS !!
Sunday 1 June 2008
A tribute to HIM
oh no.. the effect of caffeine plus powerade has really got me all hyper..
The season of "excruciating pain" to my mental status have arrived. The five letters i totally despise.. E.X.A.M.S.. yes my friends, its here and sorry if Im gonna be cranky, irritable, or just plain annoying. Remember it s not me talking, but the exams ok !!
I should be studying, instead im blogging.. DUH ! plus thinking and contemplating my future.. I think I have adopted a new name " Miss Im so Confused" . I do not know which job to pick for myself. Most people I know have never really been in this position. They get one offer and take that one. Now i find myself with multiple options.. all very appealing, equally real, equally challenging.. how the hell do I know what I want ??
I realize that what I choose and do will affect my future career plans,options and my life in general. Do you take the hot shot job ? Or go for the more regular one where you know you can be excellent in ? Complex .. to complex for a 22 to handle..and to think I was winging and winging that I could not ever get any good jobs here..
Indeed my past 4 years in Melb has been pretty exceptional. I would consider myself to be extremely blessed and lucky. And the main person I shall attribute all my success to is God.. without him where and what will I be ??
And that is why at 3.00 am , as I think about all my options, I know that he will somehow guide me in choosing the job that best suits me. Since YOU know me better than I even know myself, I have faith that YOU will guide me in making this decision. It's one where no one.. not even my parents ( who I use to so rely on) can help me make this call. So guide me..and Thank you..
A tribute to YOU..
My Jesus, My saviour,
Lord there is none like you,
All of my days,
I want to praise the wonders of your mighty love,
My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength,
Let every breath,
All that I am,
Never cease to worship you.
Shout to the Lord,
All the earth let us sing,
Power and Majesty praise to the king,
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of your name,
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I ll love you, forever I ll stand,
Nothing compares to the promise I have in YOU.
The season of "excruciating pain" to my mental status have arrived. The five letters i totally despise.. E.X.A.M.S.. yes my friends, its here and sorry if Im gonna be cranky, irritable, or just plain annoying. Remember it s not me talking, but the exams ok !!
I should be studying, instead im blogging.. DUH ! plus thinking and contemplating my future.. I think I have adopted a new name " Miss Im so Confused" . I do not know which job to pick for myself. Most people I know have never really been in this position. They get one offer and take that one. Now i find myself with multiple options.. all very appealing, equally real, equally challenging.. how the hell do I know what I want ??
I realize that what I choose and do will affect my future career plans,options and my life in general. Do you take the hot shot job ? Or go for the more regular one where you know you can be excellent in ? Complex .. to complex for a 22 to handle..and to think I was winging and winging that I could not ever get any good jobs here..
Indeed my past 4 years in Melb has been pretty exceptional. I would consider myself to be extremely blessed and lucky. And the main person I shall attribute all my success to is God.. without him where and what will I be ??
And that is why at 3.00 am , as I think about all my options, I know that he will somehow guide me in choosing the job that best suits me. Since YOU know me better than I even know myself, I have faith that YOU will guide me in making this decision. It's one where no one.. not even my parents ( who I use to so rely on) can help me make this call. So guide me..and Thank you..
A tribute to YOU..
My Jesus, My saviour,
Lord there is none like you,
All of my days,
I want to praise the wonders of your mighty love,
My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength,
Let every breath,
All that I am,
Never cease to worship you.
Shout to the Lord,
All the earth let us sing,
Power and Majesty praise to the king,
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of your name,
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I ll love you, forever I ll stand,
Nothing compares to the promise I have in YOU.
Sunday 18 May 2008
* Y.A.W.N*
Geez... i couldn't be bothered with stuff anymore.
24 hours just ain't enough. Maybe Im not the best when it comes to time management, but this is getting bit to much. No time to blog.. argh !!
So it's been what.. 3 weeks. A countless list of things has happened. I dont even know where to begin. Well let me try sum it up as follows .
1. RCH was unpredicatable.. u think " kids= cute, fun hospital to work". Turns out only the kids are cute and the adults are * tutttt* ---- I had an alright time. It worked my ass off though. With confidence i can say, BRING ON THE INFUSION CALCULATIONS !!
2. Made an amazing new friend... IRENE.. geez im gonna miss tht chicka. She hails from a place that Ive be forbidden to reveal . However I truly cant wait for you to get ur ass back to good ol melb and we can rock the town together :)
3. Tis the season of job hunting... my official 2009 pre-reg position job hunt has been launched. Madly typing and sending off resumes every 2nd day.. just driving me up the wall. From the volumes of places that Im applying too, im just so worried that the wrong application will go to the wrong employer.. u know with me .. just about a zillion things can go wrong.. but God please help me be VIGILANT !!
mm so basically .. tht highlights wht's been happening. Nothing much really. My life has been brought down to two simple words ( according to a 6 year old cousin of mine)
SLEEP .. sLeep .. SleeP
OR
BUsy.. bUsy.. BuSy.. .
cioz.. signing off to sleep .. sleep .. sleep .. now hheheheh :)
24 hours just ain't enough. Maybe Im not the best when it comes to time management, but this is getting bit to much. No time to blog.. argh !!
So it's been what.. 3 weeks. A countless list of things has happened. I dont even know where to begin. Well let me try sum it up as follows .
1. RCH was unpredicatable.. u think " kids= cute, fun hospital to work". Turns out only the kids are cute and the adults are * tutttt* ---- I had an alright time. It worked my ass off though. With confidence i can say, BRING ON THE INFUSION CALCULATIONS !!
2. Made an amazing new friend... IRENE.. geez im gonna miss tht chicka. She hails from a place that Ive be forbidden to reveal . However I truly cant wait for you to get ur ass back to good ol melb and we can rock the town together :)
3. Tis the season of job hunting... my official 2009 pre-reg position job hunt has been launched. Madly typing and sending off resumes every 2nd day.. just driving me up the wall. From the volumes of places that Im applying too, im just so worried that the wrong application will go to the wrong employer.. u know with me .. just about a zillion things can go wrong.. but God please help me be VIGILANT !!
mm so basically .. tht highlights wht's been happening. Nothing much really. My life has been brought down to two simple words ( according to a 6 year old cousin of mine)
SLEEP .. sLeep .. SleeP
OR
BUsy.. bUsy.. BuSy.. .
cioz.. signing off to sleep .. sleep .. sleep .. now hheheheh :)
Friday 25 April 2008
Another Day, Another Drama
So.. it s been a few days, eh ??
It has been LITERALLY the BUSIEST week ever. Assignments due all at once, debates etc etc.. but oh well Im looking foward to my 3 weeks @ The Children's ...gonnna be sooo fun !! Free Pediatric Pharmacopeia .. wohooo !!
Celebrated the dawn of a long weeked with my regular crew. aka Sam/Wen Li.. We discovered a beautiful little bar on Hardware Lane.. golden monkey.. awesome deco, and atmosphere but it sure does burst your budget. Nevertheless.. we went there for SOCIALISING... and guys.. we did socialise right ?? hehheheheh ..
The night continued one along of the Hardware's finest cafes VONS.. tiramisu.. oooo yummy.. steak.. even more yummier.. oh man I wish my family back home can enjoy this life that I have created for myself. I bet dad n mum would love to dine in these sorts of places. I truly can't wait to take my dad bar hoping.. and my mum restaurant hoping :).. good daughter or WHAT !!
Family is so important. I have not shared so many things with my family in a very long time. I feel in a certain way, they have failed to recognize me. In their eyes, im still the same 19 year old that left home. Unfortunately, that is not true. I have evolved so greatly in the past 4 years ( in a good way tht is :P ) I cant wait to share my life and experiences with them. I believe at the end of the day immediate family is what that counts. I come from and extremely close knit family... but guess what ??? A crack is streaking right up the middle. Oceans are separating us.. how much can internet or skype substitute for real life conversations.. Before I knew it, outsiders are trying to curb into our den and break us apart. I can already sense that happening... do I care ?
In a way.. yeah. I am defensive over my cousins as I love them a lot and will love to remain close to them. However, in reality that does not happen, eh.. They would spread their wings and fly..
I never was close to relatives who were older than me. Maybe the gap is bridging now, but then again people have their own lives.
Is it bad to be smart ??? another issue that seems to be bugging my mind over the last few days. When I was in school the more A's you scored, the more friends you sorta had. You are the cool person. But as you get older, people classify you as a N.E.R.D.. if you still keep up with the A's. Well this is in my mind is UTTTER BULLSHIT.. I realised that in order to look cool with the msian society of youngsters, you have to :
1. Club on weekends
2. Be adequately prep'ed with sufficient cash ( from FAMA'S indisposable cash petite)
3. Have popular friends or soon to be "wannabe's"
4. High alcohol tolerance
5. A flashy car wouldn't hurt(obviously this would be provided by FAMA again).. etc etc etc..
Look at it.. just take one good hard look at the list. Ok so where would it take you in life ? In your 20-30's you'd be riding with fun if you're safe on all 5 counts. When you're 30 plus.. does any of that matter anymore ?? It's how much ur cashing in at the end of the month. No FAMA anymore. And that is when the rise of the N.E.R.D.S will began...
remember N.E.R.D.S are like caterpillars. Once they hit they're target they become gorgeously, untouchable butterflies.
Imagine you bump into an A class nerd when you're 37.. He/she is looking fab. An LV bag perhaps.. Gucci shoes.. DKNY dress.. her appearance it self is worth a million bucks. She steps out from a BMW 7 series.. smiles to you and go... hey !! long time no see..what are you up too??
And. all you can say is.. mmm I ve landed with an oh so regular job.. ran out on FAMA cash.. married with 3 kids and looking oh so drained..
Now folks who is having the last laugh :)
I have met many shallow minded people who has passed remarks such as " Oh, you're in Monash.. haha that is where the nerds go. or you still get HD's .. you must be studying 24/7"
All this are just talks of the insecure.. the joke around the ur in monash , u must be a nerd is.. that dude, did not even complete his degree in one go. Repeated and failed many times. Just because he is drinking every weekend and living the "So call cool lifestyle" does not give him the right to even make that comment to anyone.
Well for now, I rather be getting my HD's .. having my usual nights out with my regular crew which i enjoy very much, decent with sense conversations and waiting.. just waiting for the day when I can BITCH SLAP.. all the loosers right to their faces.. Oh, the day will come. I can smell the aroma of it already in the air.
We'll see who has the last laugh then ..WAKAKKAKKA !!
It has been LITERALLY the BUSIEST week ever. Assignments due all at once, debates etc etc.. but oh well Im looking foward to my 3 weeks @ The Children's ...gonnna be sooo fun !! Free Pediatric Pharmacopeia .. wohooo !!
Celebrated the dawn of a long weeked with my regular crew. aka Sam/Wen Li.. We discovered a beautiful little bar on Hardware Lane.. golden monkey.. awesome deco, and atmosphere but it sure does burst your budget. Nevertheless.. we went there for SOCIALISING... and guys.. we did socialise right ?? hehheheheh ..
The night continued one along of the Hardware's finest cafes VONS.. tiramisu.. oooo yummy.. steak.. even more yummier.. oh man I wish my family back home can enjoy this life that I have created for myself. I bet dad n mum would love to dine in these sorts of places. I truly can't wait to take my dad bar hoping.. and my mum restaurant hoping :).. good daughter or WHAT !!
Family is so important. I have not shared so many things with my family in a very long time. I feel in a certain way, they have failed to recognize me. In their eyes, im still the same 19 year old that left home. Unfortunately, that is not true. I have evolved so greatly in the past 4 years ( in a good way tht is :P ) I cant wait to share my life and experiences with them. I believe at the end of the day immediate family is what that counts. I come from and extremely close knit family... but guess what ??? A crack is streaking right up the middle. Oceans are separating us.. how much can internet or skype substitute for real life conversations.. Before I knew it, outsiders are trying to curb into our den and break us apart. I can already sense that happening... do I care ?
In a way.. yeah. I am defensive over my cousins as I love them a lot and will love to remain close to them. However, in reality that does not happen, eh.. They would spread their wings and fly..
I never was close to relatives who were older than me. Maybe the gap is bridging now, but then again people have their own lives.
Is it bad to be smart ??? another issue that seems to be bugging my mind over the last few days. When I was in school the more A's you scored, the more friends you sorta had. You are the cool person. But as you get older, people classify you as a N.E.R.D.. if you still keep up with the A's. Well this is in my mind is UTTTER BULLSHIT.. I realised that in order to look cool with the msian society of youngsters, you have to :
1. Club on weekends
2. Be adequately prep'ed with sufficient cash ( from FAMA'S indisposable cash petite)
3. Have popular friends or soon to be "wannabe's"
4. High alcohol tolerance
5. A flashy car wouldn't hurt(obviously this would be provided by FAMA again).. etc etc etc..
Look at it.. just take one good hard look at the list. Ok so where would it take you in life ? In your 20-30's you'd be riding with fun if you're safe on all 5 counts. When you're 30 plus.. does any of that matter anymore ?? It's how much ur cashing in at the end of the month. No FAMA anymore. And that is when the rise of the N.E.R.D.S will began...
remember N.E.R.D.S are like caterpillars. Once they hit they're target they become gorgeously, untouchable butterflies.
Imagine you bump into an A class nerd when you're 37.. He/she is looking fab. An LV bag perhaps.. Gucci shoes.. DKNY dress.. her appearance it self is worth a million bucks. She steps out from a BMW 7 series.. smiles to you and go... hey !! long time no see..what are you up too??
And. all you can say is.. mmm I ve landed with an oh so regular job.. ran out on FAMA cash.. married with 3 kids and looking oh so drained..
Now folks who is having the last laugh :)
I have met many shallow minded people who has passed remarks such as " Oh, you're in Monash.. haha that is where the nerds go. or you still get HD's .. you must be studying 24/7"
All this are just talks of the insecure.. the joke around the ur in monash , u must be a nerd is.. that dude, did not even complete his degree in one go. Repeated and failed many times. Just because he is drinking every weekend and living the "So call cool lifestyle" does not give him the right to even make that comment to anyone.
Well for now, I rather be getting my HD's .. having my usual nights out with my regular crew which i enjoy very much, decent with sense conversations and waiting.. just waiting for the day when I can BITCH SLAP.. all the loosers right to their faces.. Oh, the day will come. I can smell the aroma of it already in the air.
We'll see who has the last laugh then ..WAKAKKAKKA !!
Sunday 20 April 2008
Many thanks is in lieu overdue..
This post is dedicated to all my wonderful friends who celebrated my 22nd with me. Im sorry for not writting up in advance, but as you have presumed my mind was full of "dysfunctional issues"
It's clearing up and Im coming to my senses...
Thanks guys for picking stuff of my list..
Im dancing to tunes with the RED HOT ipod..
I absolutely fell in love with my I LOVE MELB TEE..
Im deeply touched by PS: I love you
I look gorgeous in the necklace..
I smell oh so extremely seductive in Baby Doll :P
I indulged in the mixture of alcohol + chocolates.. what could be better
last but not least... Im looking foward to that holiday by the beach & the new laptop.. A trip down to Phuket Thanks Mum n Dad.. cant wait to c u guys in just .. just 2 months.. for a legen.. wait for it.. DARY TIME .. !!! WAKAKAAA.
All in all.. I love you guys heaps..
Thanks..
This post is dedicated to all my wonderful friends who celebrated my 22nd with me. Im sorry for not writting up in advance, but as you have presumed my mind was full of "dysfunctional issues"
It's clearing up and Im coming to my senses...
Thanks guys for picking stuff of my list..
Im dancing to tunes with the RED HOT ipod..
I absolutely fell in love with my I LOVE MELB TEE..
Im deeply touched by PS: I love you
I look gorgeous in the necklace..
I smell oh so extremely seductive in Baby Doll :P
I indulged in the mixture of alcohol + chocolates.. what could be better
last but not least... Im looking foward to that holiday by the beach & the new laptop.. A trip down to Phuket Thanks Mum n Dad.. cant wait to c u guys in just .. just 2 months.. for a legen.. wait for it.. DARY TIME .. !!! WAKAKAAA.
All in all.. I love you guys heaps..
Thanks..
Saturday 19 April 2008
To be or not To be
Not that Im even trying.. but i did find this piece however. Written extremly well with a tinge of with and humor from my fav blogger.. Samantha Brett of the Sydney Morning Herald Blogs..
This is what she think of "THE EX ISSUE"
"The problem with romance is that it doesn't always deliver the goods," the latest issue of Time magazine says. And boy, don't we know it! Break-ups, make-ups, game-playing, cheating, lying, clandestine sex (and video tapes to prove it) have all aided in giving modern love, sex and relationships one mighty bad wrap.
Add to that the ubiquitous trend of so-called new serial monogamy in which "till death do us part" has been replaced by "till someone better comes along" and it's easy to see why most of us have experienced the wrath of a gut-wrenching break-up that propels us onto our emotional death-bed ...
The trouble is that all the hurt, tears and pain don't stop there either. Imagine that, after a few days, (or months if it's really that bad), you finally manage to get off your tear-sodden sofa for a night out with your mates, only to spot your ex in the corner of the pub ensconced in a passionate embrace with their new fitter, blonder, better-looking date, barely even taking a break from their tonsil-hockey to notice your new haircut!
Yep, suffice it to say that "break-ups hurt like a motherf------", as Greg Behrendt, author of It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken, muses in his bestselling no-nonsense break-up guide. And thank goodness for that because it seems 'tis the season of exes.
It's no wonder we can't get over them either considering that, in the age of technological advancements, a lazy nip online can give you more ex-information than you ever bargained for.
Add to that all the Facebook poking (only to discover compromising pics of your ex and their new flame and lovey-dovey messages on their Wall), Google-stalking, driving past their place at midnight (by a friend of mine who shall remain nameless) and it's not difficult to see why our exes are infiltrating our lives more than ever before.
Should you get your ex back?
"Everyone wants what they can't have," is a cliche that I'd like to believe is complete and utter bollocks. Unfortunately it's been proven time and time again (especially on this blog) that it's not such a batty statement after all. Especially when it comes to love.
When we've got it in the palm of our sweaty hands, we can take it for granted, toss it to one side when something more exciting comes our way and discard it like last night's dinner when we feel we'd like to "find ourselves" without a partner (and all their irritating quirks) standing in our way.
But suddenly we find ourselves desperately wanting them back. We can't sleep, eat or believe we'll live without knowing that we've done everything in our power to win them back. The trouble with it all is that getting back an ex is no easy feat. In fact, if they've moved on or you've broken their heart, it's near damn impossible.
The solution? Reader Scorpio has come up with something that's either the most darn romantic I've ever heard of, or the most hopeless. Either way, his story is this:
"Until very recently I had been going out with a lovely girl for roughly five months. It hadn't been easy as she had just came out of a really destructive relationship that ended in divorce and I had trust/confidence issues due to a past relationship which lapsed into irrelevancy. There was also the minuscule issue of age and a difference in culture. Our insecurities usually collided and it created a lot of arguments; most of which I actively and regretfully instigated.
"Anyway she broke up with me. It is strange as you don't acknowledge how unprepared you are to face the world when someone you truly respect rescinds their love for you.
"I wrote her a letter as the hurt was too intense to talk about with her directly. In the letter I displayed a time, date and location to meet me at if she wanted to give things another go. What made the letter so unusual was that the above arrangement is set almost six months from now. So I have given her the option - whether she is inspired by my change as a person or even remembers the details is really up to her. There is also the situation where she doesn't want to attend as she may just want to start a new page or could even find herself in a new relationship.
"It is an interesting concept that I want to give a try. Even if I find myself the only one who manages to show on the day, I can at least walk away with my head held high knowing I followed my heart.
"I just wish we had both met at different times in our lives as the connection and prospect of having a great relationship was, and still very much is, there. Provided that we both go away and do what is needed to be better partners... Is there potential for reuniting? Or should I hang up the boots and move on?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)