D.E.N.I.A.L

How often do we find ourselves in this state of mind ??

DENIAL is just one of the most common places we all let our selves slip into once in a while. Its the safety net to reality. It is the little shack that protects us from the violent winds. Or the little umbrella that we all squeeze under to escape the torrents of a thunderstorm.

Just as the saying goes.. all good things must come to an end. And so must the denial phase. The euphoria or "high" that it brings us must evaporate like mere alcohol on a litmus sheet.

I ended my state of denial today. It was as though the " Stephanie" who was floating up there was laughing at the " Stephanie" down on earth and going.... what the hell were you thinking ???

It's sad to realize that your hopes cannot be materialize but shall only disintegrate into ashes of dust. However, isn't it better to put a fullstop to all the dreaming and hoping and false happiness .. as at the end of the day you know nothing is going to happen.

Though I am sad to have snapped out of my denial phase, I am glad to have done it now rather than later. Getting hurt once again would be the last thing i ever want .. not this year at least. I tried get back into the game, but its too scary. It's waters that I am unfamiliar to play with. I loved my comfort zone.. i miss the coziness of it ( where i could hurdle up and sleep peacefully). I hate the unknown territory. I tried a few attempts to it, but it all failed. Maybe I'm missing something.. maybe im not doing it right .. maybe I'm just not ready.

Whatever it is, I am looking forward to this acquaintance. That is all I am hoping for right now. Let time take its course and unravel the mystery of my life.

Till then I shall leave you with a fav quote of mine :

" Denial (The Nile) is not just a river in Egypt, it s a freaking ocean"

-NiTZ-