The post-date blues

Ok.. so I have a story.. its scandalous.. emotional... annoying.. and frustrating all at one go.
For the purpose of this story.. i shall refer to this person as Mr. X ( I'd use BIG but i don't think he fits into a BIG category.. and im not sure if Im Carrie enough)

So Mr. X and I met.. usual boy meets girl thingy. He is great bla bla bla. Our rship was more cyber than anything else (considering that Im right down south and Mr. X lives somewhere on the equator).

Indeed the time came and we finally broke the mystery behind those chat boxes. It was a pleasant surprise. No disappointments etc. Im a woman who has been on a substantial amount of dates to rank this one as one of the best.. problem is...WAS THIS A DATE ???

That has been bugging me like maddddd since i came back from it. I have not dated "this breed" of ppl in a while to make a call as to whether im progressing in the right track or not. Men down south are more open.. clear cut and you sure hell know ur on a date by the end of it ( the good night kiss .. if you weren't already guessing).

The post date is indeed the horrifying part. It's like waiting for a verdict from the jury. You're either sentenced to REJECTION.. or proceed to the next level. And boy.. i hate this feeling.
Will he call ? will he not.. bla bla. You say to yourself.. it s not like a care.. but it doesn't always turn out that way. The brave front, whatever attitude can come down.

Ok back to me then... So Mr. X did SMS post date. Mr. X did indicate a possibility of a second meet up. The term chosen "MEET UP" not date.

I guess it's just to hard to even guess what's going on in a man's head post date. Just gotta hope for the best.. and what i learnt is.. you only feel bit queasy for the first 24 hours. After that, its be like.. Mr. WhO ??

Well Im gonna be lazing on Katta beach in Phuket for the next one week. I'm sure by the time i get home it definetely be Mr. Who ?? Rumour has it, Phuket has a lot of hot gorgeous European men... Im definetely gonna get me some eye candy.. heheh

Till next week..

The Shopping and the City ..

Oh don't you just love this time of the year when all you see as you step out of your oh so chic city apt is "SALES"..

yes.. my fellow women.. stock take sales have indeed dawned upon us in the southern hemisphere and Im guessing summer sales have spurred up for our women counterparts in the northern side of the world.

I went on a "mini" shopping spree in midst my exams as I just couldn't resists the sales. Besides that, using the excuse " I need to buy stuff to take home".. just makes me feel so much better about going.

I noticed my fashion sense and trend has indeed changed over the past year. For starters.. i have began to develop an eye for specialist designers (mm i think the pay cheques that come in every week have stimulated this new found love.. bad bad !! )
I too am in love with the whole retro sophisticated, jackie kennedy look.. man it s so chic, sexy.. and not to forget ELEGANT.. high waisted skirts and A line skirts are some of my top picks for this season.
Overalls are also in style and have indeed caught my eye.. matched with gorgeous oversized bags and patterned tights.. :)
The business look is another area Im so enjoying this season. Using interviews as an excuse for business wear shopping is not an excuse but alas.. Who cares!! .. its sure does help with the guilt !
Gorgeous shirts by Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfinger.. with a beautifully tailored pant suit with matching jacket from MNG.. are some of my great loves.
aaaa.. i can go on rambling bout clothes like.. FOREVER.. but i guess i gotta stop..
The clothes are all nice and good when its there to be worn.. but boy i hate the laundry. Sadly, that is what I shall be retiring to do now..

Adios.. till next time .. :)

Enjoy shopping !

The New age of Hedonism ..

This is an article that I came across this morning while reading The Star. It actually does sum up the lives and times of the 20-something Malaysian.

Welcome to the "fubu" era --- NO STRINGS ATTACHED !!

"A COUPLE of weeks ago, I picked up a new word, “fubu”, which, I was told, is short for f*** buddy.

A fubu is someone that you have a relationship with which is not committed, but if you want sex, he is there for you. But the fubu can be the partner of another person too. It was a gay friend who told me this and initially I thought it was common only in gay circles.

Recently I was told that fubus can be found in heterosexual circles too. I was told of 20-something girls who pick up men in clubs and, if they are in the mood, they bed them without blinking an eye. And later on, if either party is in the mood, they just call or SMS each other to fix a tryst.

And these are not the screwed-up kids from broken homes or who had suffered abuse and want to take it out against a society or system that failed them. These are well-educated young adults from good, stable middle-class families who lack nothing. They know what they want, they are aware of what they are doing, they know the consequences of sex with multiple partners such as the possibility of getting AIDS and other STDs or unwanted pregnancies (“I use protection” is the buzz phrase), but they throw caution to the wind and reach out to grab whatever that satisfies them, even if it is transient.

This is the new age in which hedonism and nihilism reign supreme. Morality has been tossed into the rear seat. Pleasure has taken over the wheel and is taking young Malaysians on a wild ride on the fast lane.

And I thought such hedonistic and amoral pursuits existed only in the West and Sex and the City.

My peers may, of course, call me a hypocrite. I confess that I am not overly proud of the hijinks (now, that’s a word from the 1980s) I was embroiled in when I was in my 20s.

But the way the fubus and good-time gals do their thing with such nonchalant abandon shocks even an old rogue like me. Perhaps I have become too conservative even as I am ageing gracefully and have become what young people these days call Ol' Skool but I grew up during a time when first there was love, then there was sex. Now there is sex, and then there is nothing.

Perhaps it is due to this age of instant gratification. We want things done NOW. We want to be satisfied NOW. And we curse the telcos and Streamyx when there is no service or when the downloading takes too long. What young folks want now is not just video on demand; it is sex on demand.

Parenting experts will tell you to instil good moral and religious values in your children from young, shower them with love and attention, spend time with them and guide them along the way to adolescence so that they will grow up to be responsible, mature and respectable adults.

Frankly, you still have to keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best because no matter how much care is taken when bringing up kids, some are bound to stray.

As a middle-aged father of three sons, the eldest of whom will soon reach puberty, I am really worried. Let me tell you about one of parenting’s worst-kept secrets – one of the greatest fears of modern parents is that their child may turn gay. Now you can add fubu to the list."

Ne-Yo - When You 're Mad

Gees.. this song is stuck in my head..

I just had to post in on my blog (in between my mountains of clinical)

Enjoy !

D.E.N.I.A.L

How often do we find ourselves in this state of mind ??

DENIAL is just one of the most common places we all let our selves slip into once in a while. Its the safety net to reality. It is the little shack that protects us from the violent winds. Or the little umbrella that we all squeeze under to escape the torrents of a thunderstorm.

Just as the saying goes.. all good things must come to an end. And so must the denial phase. The euphoria or "high" that it brings us must evaporate like mere alcohol on a litmus sheet.

I ended my state of denial today. It was as though the " Stephanie" who was floating up there was laughing at the " Stephanie" down on earth and going.... what the hell were you thinking ???

It's sad to realize that your hopes cannot be materialize but shall only disintegrate into ashes of dust. However, isn't it better to put a fullstop to all the dreaming and hoping and false happiness .. as at the end of the day you know nothing is going to happen.

Though I am sad to have snapped out of my denial phase, I am glad to have done it now rather than later. Getting hurt once again would be the last thing i ever want .. not this year at least. I tried get back into the game, but its too scary. It's waters that I am unfamiliar to play with. I loved my comfort zone.. i miss the coziness of it ( where i could hurdle up and sleep peacefully). I hate the unknown territory. I tried a few attempts to it, but it all failed. Maybe I'm missing something.. maybe im not doing it right .. maybe I'm just not ready.

Whatever it is, I am looking forward to this acquaintance. That is all I am hoping for right now. Let time take its course and unravel the mystery of my life.

Till then I shall leave you with a fav quote of mine :

" Denial (The Nile) is not just a river in Egypt, it s a freaking ocean"

-NiTZ-

Ish ...geram betul !

Tis the season where im just all cranky .. moody... annoyed.. pissed off

It's like im on PMS 24/7. Perhaps I am indeed.. PRE MEMORIZING SYNDROME!!

All this memorizing is driving me nuts. From the tens and tens of disease states.. to countless no of drug coupled with their side effect profile and resistance.. argh.. I can't take it anymore !!

but on a happier note.. I have only 14days to fly back to ma home.. ma lovely home :)


---->Steph is falling asleep at her pc.. the effects of pcol is wining off.. shhhhh

And I have decided

Well the time has come for me to decide the path I should descend on.. and the verdict is..

ROYAL CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL/CSL BIOTHERAPEUTICS

After much consideration and going back and forth I decided to take the challenge.. hell yeah, it s gonna be a hard.. hard.. year but I think I would be highly rewarded at the end of it all.

From this I have seen how God has worked his way in my life. I could only dream about attaining such a position when i first joined pharmacy.

Now that all my dreams and hopes are realizing before me, I see the challenges that the future holds. It looks promising alright, but scary at the same time.

Making this decision was the toughest for me yet. So many opinions and views were taken into consideration and I feel blessed to have such an opportunity to even have multiple considerations.

Stepping into this new chapter of my life appears to be very interesting. I can't wait to see what promise my future holds. Four years ago I would not even dream of such a thing. And today , all I can say is BRING IT ON !!

PS : A big THANK YOU to everyone who helped me make my decision. All your views/opinions are deeply appreciated.. special thanks to Mum n Dad for listening too all my wining every single day.. I hope this has made you proud of you little girl.. and yes Im not so little anymore :)

Love you guys .. ALWAYS !!

A tribute to HIM

oh no.. the effect of caffeine plus powerade has really got me all hyper..

The season of "excruciating pain" to my mental status have arrived. The five letters i totally despise.. E.X.A.M.S.. yes my friends, its here and sorry if Im gonna be cranky, irritable, or just plain annoying. Remember it s not me talking, but the exams ok !!

I should be studying, instead im blogging.. DUH ! plus thinking and contemplating my future.. I think I have adopted a new name " Miss Im so Confused" . I do not know which job to pick for myself. Most people I know have never really been in this position. They get one offer and take that one. Now i find myself with multiple options.. all very appealing, equally real, equally challenging.. how the hell do I know what I want ??

I realize that what I choose and do will affect my future career plans,options and my life in general. Do you take the hot shot job ? Or go for the more regular one where you know you can be excellent in ? Complex .. to complex for a 22 to handle..and to think I was winging and winging that I could not ever get any good jobs here..

Indeed my past 4 years in Melb has been pretty exceptional. I would consider myself to be extremely blessed and lucky. And the main person I shall attribute all my success to is God.. without him where and what will I be ??

And that is why at 3.00 am , as I think about all my options, I know that he will somehow guide me in choosing the job that best suits me. Since YOU know me better than I even know myself, I have faith that YOU will guide me in making this decision. It's one where no one.. not even my parents ( who I use to so rely on) can help me make this call. So guide me..and Thank you..

A tribute to YOU..

My Jesus, My saviour,
Lord there is none like you,
All of my days,
I want to praise the wonders of your mighty love,

My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength,
Let every breath,
All that I am,
Never cease to worship you.

Shout to the Lord,
All the earth let us sing,
Power and Majesty praise to the king,
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of your name,

I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I ll love you, forever I ll stand,
Nothing compares to the promise I have in YOU.