"Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love"
A million ppl may surround you, yet the sense of being alone is so profound. Every night I just so wish I could come home to my family. It's only pictures and memories of them that I have to accompany me and get me through the days ahead.
I did it for 4.5 years. It didnt seem that hard. Somehow, something has changed from within me, and this constant battle with my own feelings is making me so tired.
When a child is dropped of at school for the first time, a sense of fear and abondenment comes over them. They are unable to detach from what they know and feel safe in. At this point in time, I feel like that 7 year old girl again, being dropped off at the gates of school for the very first time.. But Im too old to be feeling this way. What scares me the most is the fact that my parents will not be around forever, and who would I have ? Who would i turn too ? Who will hold me and say it's ok when Im down and give me that push to persevere ?
It's something I have to do on my own. I pray one day my sister and I would have a deeper understanding of each other. Right now we are world's apart and I have to be strong to look out for her. I dont know if I am strong enough. I wish i could detach more, but the older I get, the closer I feel to my family. The stronger I yearn to be with them. The deeper I miss them.
If there is one thing I pray for each night, it definetely is the fact that God will make me stronger to walk this life alone. Growing up should not be this hard. It should not be this miserable.
I did it for 4.5 years. It didnt seem that hard. Somehow, something has changed from within me, and this constant battle with my own feelings is making me so tired.
When a child is dropped of at school for the first time, a sense of fear and abondenment comes over them. They are unable to detach from what they know and feel safe in. At this point in time, I feel like that 7 year old girl again, being dropped off at the gates of school for the very first time.. But Im too old to be feeling this way. What scares me the most is the fact that my parents will not be around forever, and who would I have ? Who would i turn too ? Who will hold me and say it's ok when Im down and give me that push to persevere ?
It's something I have to do on my own. I pray one day my sister and I would have a deeper understanding of each other. Right now we are world's apart and I have to be strong to look out for her. I dont know if I am strong enough. I wish i could detach more, but the older I get, the closer I feel to my family. The stronger I yearn to be with them. The deeper I miss them.
If there is one thing I pray for each night, it definetely is the fact that God will make me stronger to walk this life alone. Growing up should not be this hard. It should not be this miserable.
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