and yet another birthday goes by..

You wait 354 days for a mere 24 hours a celebration
Nevertheless, it's all very worth while
Id like to thank everyone for all their gifts, wishes , calls , thoughts and love.
Its nice to know, that there are people out there who care about your existence and appreciate the day you were born.

It was indeed a tasteful celebration with some of my closest friends.

This was the very first year that I missed the presence of a certain someone. Every year, for the past 5 years that is, that very person would make my day an extra special. Its only memories of the time we spent together that I have with me now.

But life goes on. People walk in, people walk out. It's hard to find people that stay put...

At the moment, all I have going for me is my trip back home. Chill with the folks, shop with mum, brunches with friends... that 's my focus that would hopefully keep me going for the next 3 weeks...

Till then.... i shall just bury myself in piles and piles of work :S

The 2009 Essential List

I have been asked if I would come up with a list again this year.At first I thought, ahhh can't be bothered. But then again, I need an aim, I need a focus to work hard and to reward myself.
Hence, this year, it s not about merely buying stuff. I am actually testing out Frued theory on Self -Rewarding

Last year, my list was predominantly filled with worldly possessions. That has since gone pass me. Though I managed to obtain them, I still did not feel great satisfaction. Hence, this year, I believe I have grown. The things I wish to obtain by 24th March 2010 are things that have a strong emotional connection to me (even the material stuff). They are not merely things to prop my life up superficially, but have a much deeper meaning.

Hence I am changing the name from The Wish list to The Essential List..

So for the 2009 Essential List:

1. A wondeful family reunion with lots of food, drinks, music and love

2. Vacation to a country in Asia ( Msia/Spore not included )

3. Sucessful completion of my intern year

4. A job with a pharmaceutical firm or a decent non-chaotic hospital

5. A wonderful guy, who is down to earth , humble, simple and hilarious

6. An amazing group of friends, who I can always turn too and know that they will be around to support me in rough times

7. The red dress

8. Ralph Lauren's big pony polo tee...ooo i love this one :)

9. French Lessons

10. Tickets to a super cun concert

.. ooo I forgot one more.. Board games !! Well this is really because it s a fun activitiy which I can play with my amazing group of friends :)

Review of the Wish List 08

It's almost 1 year since I "published" my 2008 wish list. I have come to the realisation that this is one of the best lists Ive ever made ( as I have stuck to it and probably added even more onto it)

It has a been a good tool for friends and family to get a glimpse into what I like. So now, for the review..

In 2008, these are the things I hoped to get by 24th March 2009 :

1.Ipod- Check. Thanks to WL HY, YZ,SAM

2.Sony T70 - Purchased a Canon Ixus. Thanks to Dad

3. Tommy Hilfinger apparels - Check. Thanks to myself

4. Laptop - Check. Thanks to dad n mum

5. Wallet - Done. Pesonally obtained

6. Roxy's I LOVE MELB tee- Got it !! Thanks to Mel, Cynthia, Jean

7. Sport's girl tote- Check. Personally obtained

8. holiday to any where with a good beach- Phuket. Personally obtained + Dad

9. CK jeans- Ralph Lauren instead.

10. clinque skin care range- Check :)

11. Pilgrim white hot dress.. it s seriously hot :)- Compensated this with 3 new dresses from Portman's, Top Shop and Dorothy Perkins

12. A birthday celebration with my family-- Never got around to it .. :(

Well 11 out of 12 is fairly good, but no 12 weighs more than anything. So there goes, I have fullfilled all my material expectations for the year 2008, maybe not quite so the emotional.

The non-nonsense personality test !

My friend recommended me to try this quiz.. and as I am a lover of all this online nonsense quizzes., I thought why not..

Out of all the personality quizzes that I have done, this has to be the most accurate... here goes:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

From another test:

Bright and Cheerful

You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

In reality , you do not need a personality test to tell you who you are. I believe over the last year I have identified most of the traits associated with me.
This has been fun doing :D

The Red Dress

As I walked through the streets of Melbourne on this chilly lazy Sunday afternoon, I stumbled across her. She was the most gorgeous, sexy yet elegant thing Ive ever seen..
I had to get myself some of her. Hence I walked into her home. The smell of her place was so enchanting.. It brought back memories of the times when I use to have time to stroll into homes like this..

When i entered it, I searched around for where she was.. I finally found her sitting slendourly on a rack. Her hanger had a beautiful sign that read "Limited Edition". My heart kept racing as I extended my hand to touch her soft skin... oh man, it indeed was so fine.
The feeling of her skin against mine send shivers down my spine. I had to try her on..
Putting her own made me feel like a star. The cuttings was gorgeous, the backless style to her added a tinge of sexiness to the dress and the bows cried out feminity.

I couldnt help but stare at myself in awe... her bright red was spectacular.It brought out the confidence it me.
I strutted around in her... she made me feel so incredibly hot. It was just perfect. I knew I had formed a bond with her. She made me look good and she knew I would be able to pull her off in the best possible way. It was a match made in heaven..

But like every other rship, there s a stumbling block. She was too expensive for me to take home (at least this month). As heavy as my heart was, I knew I had to wiggle out of her, slip into my old clothes and hand her gracefully back to her current master..

As I walked out of her home, I turned around and secretly promised myself that I will get her. I am yet to know when, but she ll be mine someday...

"The perfect red cocktail dress"

"Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures,

and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love"

A million ppl may surround you, yet the sense of being alone is so profound. Every night I just so wish I could come home to my family. It's only pictures and memories of them that I have to accompany me and get me through the days ahead.

I did it for 4.5 years. It didnt seem that hard. Somehow, something has changed from within me, and this constant battle with my own feelings is making me so tired.

When a child is dropped of at school for the first time, a sense of fear and abondenment comes over them. They are unable to detach from what they know and feel safe in. At this point in time, I feel like that 7 year old girl again, being dropped off at the gates of school for the very first time.. But Im too old to be feeling this way. What scares me the most is the fact that my parents will not be around forever, and who would I have ? Who would i turn too ? Who will hold me and say it's ok when Im down and give me that push to persevere ?

It's something I have to do on my own. I pray one day my sister and I would have a deeper understanding of each other. Right now we are world's apart and I have to be strong to look out for her. I dont know if I am strong enough. I wish i could detach more, but the older I get, the closer I feel to my family. The stronger I yearn to be with them. The deeper I miss them.

If there is one thing I pray for each night, it definetely is the fact that God will make me stronger to walk this life alone. Growing up should not be this hard. It should not be this miserable.

Out of every 4 people you meet, 1 may be nice

Hey that's not just a saying, but in fact it is so damn true. You can walk pass hundreds of people a day, trust me 3/4 of them will either bang into you, step on your toes, push you to get the seat on the tram or even mislead you to believe that they are nice at all. To top it off, "sorry" is such a deja-vu to these ppl

How is it possible to remain nice in a world where 3/4 are mean ??
One friend pointed out to me that in order to survive, one should be 49% bitch, 51% sweetheart. When i first heard it, I was like wooot ! but now , that I myself have stepped into the working world.. it is totally and completely essential. In this essence, I would not so much call it a bitch, but more of a hard-headed woman.
So there you go.. 49% strong headed, 51% sweetheart !!

On a completely different note, i did go to the movies this weekend to watch he's just not that into you.. and of course my blog will not be complete if I did not make a comment about that show. Trying to not give the story away, but overall, there is no definite excuse to why a man never calls back or a woman who won't sleep with you. Each person is unique, but you get the occasional cliche' here and there. I think everyone could relate to a character in the story as it was very real. No cinderally happy ending bull shit , but real life hard facts.. ouch !! it may hurt but then again, it s better to face reality than live in delusion.

I think in each and everyone's life, there is always a defining moment that makes you open your eyes, take a step back and say.. whoooaaa!! I am on the wrong track. Over the past few weeks Ive experienced that.. but not so much as a defining moment but a series of events. I am glad to have found someone who shares very similiar ideals and experiences, hence I know that I am not alone. Just knowing that your're not the only one fighting those feelings is extremely comforting.

For now Im looking fwd to my little trip back.. looking fwd to indulge in everything unhealthy that msia has to offer.. looking fwd to spend quality time with mum and dad ( ba ku teh in the morning after a jog :P ). I too am so excited about seeing my buddies.... and just about everything.