The awakening of the maternal instinct...

Between cramming in clinicals, DD a prac test and a allergic reaction to what I think is caused by my relentless consumption of iron tablets and salmon oil together, I still managed to find the time the day dream (per usual)

Yday before going to bed, I watched an episode of Private Practice. And... adison
(wish i cld get her as my doctor) delivered babies as normal. Thing is , that whole episode revolved around babies and family..

I gladly smiled and fell asleep quite soundly. Around 3 am I woke up to a feeling of intense pain and realized that i was sweating like crazy.. yes yes.. as you guessed, i dreamt i was in labour.. out of all things in the world.. ME... GIVING BIRTH .. ARGH!!!

All i can remember was me in a bath tub, there was a lady in white (nurse perhaps), a pretty hot doctor and a vague image of a guy ( i persume that's the baby's father.. but u see they always are blurry in these dreams). I was having a freaking water birth. It really did freak me out.

For starters, Im not even near that zone and birth literally scares me. I like the kids part but not the growing fat through 9 months and then going through all tht pain (hence I always support adoption). But yday, for the first time, it hit me that this is something I may just have to go through and I can't really evade it if it happens. The water birth sparked a sudden interest in me and my inquisitive nature led me to do a google search on it. To my delight, I found out that it is indeed a great way to give birth and it reduces the pain felt. Besides that, it brings the baby into very familiar surroundings as the womb is filled with fluid anyway.

Thanks to my dream... now I am actually embracing the idea of having my own kids someday and definitively water birth (trust me, I ll make the guy get in the tub with me :P )
Sometimes, messages come to you in the strangest away... i guessed my maternal instict has been awakened.

Don't we all wanna fall into this state of mind :)

The A.B.C of love in the 21st century.

Being a 20-something woman who lives in world where dating is no hush hush matter, the questions of marriages and love do come up frequently in every other conversation. If its not friend A breaking up, it s friend B having a crush on a guy... or friend C getting married !!
In recent months, Ive noticed most of our conversations revolve around the fact that there are virtually no high quality good men available and utter ridiculous dating habits. Then you get an email from a good friend saying... "I've found him.. ive found Mr. Right". All i can think is.. how the hell did you survive the single scene/ How did dating help you both find each other/ When can i check out of this ridiculously mind consuming game...

See thing is, in my opinion love ain't just falls from the sky no more. There is no boy meet girl, they fall in love and get live happily ever after. It just aint that simple. In today's dating game, the stakes are higher and the equation is no more a mere plus and minus.
My girlfriends and I have spoken about this countless time... n we , women of this 21st demanding century and no longer in need for men to complete us... we want man to be equal partners, to work together to build a life. Some mandatory requirements include :

1. Looks.. looks..looks.. ( there's no need for a brad pitt look alike... just a presentable fellow)
2. Financially secure.. a 100k job wouldnt hurt :P
3. No mummy'sboy.. if we wanted a baby, we would have one.
4. Metrosexual.. bring on the prada, versace, ted baker .
5. Humourous... a Denzel Washigton may be good in bed, but Russell Peters will work better in the long run

and the list goes on...

Speaking on the other side of the ocean , men are no better. They require hotness.. hotness and more hotness... They too want financially independent woman these days. Hence its all a tick for tack.

People are just more open to things to the point that they are no able to settle for something.. there's always the thought, " What if something better comes along ??? "
I would not deny that I can be picky.. but over this past year where I really began to sus out what Im looking for in a man, I believe the more I date, the more things i discover about myself and my taste in men. It also has tested as to how far Id push my principles.... and yeah I seem to be fairly liberal.
Dating has been fantastic, from single cooporate men, to doctors, to divorce hotties...there's a sea of men to date, but not a fish to settle for.

So the dilemma never ends... you can date and date and keep wondering when will you head to that checkout !

Is mani/pedi the new orgasms of 2000's ??

Ok the title itself gives it away..yes yes I did have a mani and yes yes I did get arouse.. heheh :D

So my blog may not be the most child-friendly blog.. but hey at least I live out in the open and embrace my sexuality as compared to the dozens of women out there who are too embarrasses to even say the word orgasm..

I was in such an overdue of a mani. My nails were beginning to chip of and the sight of it was just awfully disgusting.. long, and unkept. Hence I thought, since it was my last day to a what I can only say a fantastic 2 years at the Eye n Ear hospital.. i ll treat myself to a little mani..

I got all comfy in the chair and in fact I was quite excited about it. The last time i had mani , the feeling was incredible and I was indeed looking fwd to it. The feeling of getting pampered plus a nice massage into my fingers and toes with hand/feet lotion send tingles through my spine.... all I did was shut my eyes and bit my top lip... the feeling was so incredibly sensational , yes it was just or maybe even better than an orgasm ( coz they take much longer to massage ur feet and hands)

As Carrie n Samantha did say, treating and pampering urself to a good mani/pedi or even a hair cut ( when the hairdresser washes ur head and rubs his hands through ur scalp... awwoooo!!) u definetely are left in a state of arousal.. well who needs a man. All i need to do is regular visits to my manicurist and my stylist.. the bonus of it all I feel great and look great at the end of the day ( with sex its just feel great, you don't necessarily look great)

Oh well... as a single woman who embraces every bit of her womanhood... rather than one-night stands and occasional flings.. i rather turn to pampering myself and sqeezing out as much pleasure as i can get from tht.. (no STD'S or babies to think about :D)

Scrambling that rubble to find that "perfect" life..

While having my hot coffee, 2 slices of fruit loaf and the papers ( e-version mind that) in front of me, I scanned through its articles and a piece on Obama did catch my eye.

Hailing from a rather mediocre background, this man may just be the ONE.. that defies all odds to become the first Black president in the history of the USA. It was a dream he had, and a dream that seems almost his today. It probably took a lot of effort and strength and perseverance to be in the position he is today.

It got me thinking, for Obama, this may be his perfect life.. Standing up there in Capitol Hill, taking the oath of presidency in front of the whole world.. heck it , he ll be the most powerful man in the world for crying out loud.

Everyday, i search for that perfect life. I walked down the shopping centers to look for that perfect outfit, I would not leave the house till my hair is perfect, I need to have my accessories up to date.... everything boils down to getting things perfect in your personal context.

It is the time of the year again where the E word takes on my life. My mind tends to wonder a lot in these days. What I have been up too recently, is try understand or plan out what my perfect life should be. I know I want that absolutely perfect job in WHO in Geneva.. now to get it, I need French, I need experience and I need knowledge.. so I am working on getting all 3 of it.
On the other hand..my search for the perfect guy is up too..smart, sexy, romantic, sweet, kind.. bla bla bla...
I try fit in the idea of my perfect career, perfect guy, perfect family in my mind.. and its one task that drains the hell out of me. Movies, songs are a mere camouflage of the perfect life...

I am tired ... I am exhausted.. I just wish i could kick back with a cocktail and let perfect happen... but for now I shall always wonder ...

When will the search for the perfect one end ???

Live and Learn

" History repeats itself"

How true is that ? Though we have been through certain things i life, yet we jump into it again only to realize that the same mistake has been made.

I believe for a lesson to remain enact in a human, a mistake has to be made 3 times. Or 1 time with severe consequences.

In life, why are we always looking for that something.. if its not a great boyfriend, then it s a great career or a great house.. when will searching for the ONE be DONE.

You think as you grow older your decisions are more sounds. But sometimes i do feel, did we get it right all along in high school, when innocence were part of us ?

The world out there is harsh.. and it order to survive it with a mere contentment, you have to be cruel to be kind. To some, I may appear to be someone who makes decisions at the jump of the heartbeat and gets easily swept away by flowers etc.. yea that is true ( which girl isn't), but I also believe you have to be IN it to know that you wanna be OUT it.

On another note, this city Im livin in is full of cute, successful men. I gave my heart completely once, and yes that is one mistake I shall not make again. I can give you my time, but not my heart. Not till I know you are worth my love and that is a hard one to fullfill.

As much as i love my light, low fat food.. I think Im gonna go on a low fat rship from now on..

LIGHT SIMPLE TASTY

@dios !

Lost in my thoughts

When you have it all,
Why does it feel like you have nothing,
When you love something so much,
Why can't that be yours,

Why is the laws of the universe so harsh,
Why do humans go against humans,
When love is all you need,
To put the pieces back together.

As I stare at the girl in the mirror,
I ask, Who is this ?
Do I recognize her ?
Where has she gone.

From poets, to romance suckers claim that you know when its right,
That is equivalent to " A happy ending",
It is a fantasy that you can just hope to catch in your dreams,
Never existed, Never will.

As I shut my eyes tonight,
I know Ill miss you deeply once again,
The length of time does not matter,
The impact you etched in me does.

>>> Missing u so very much tonight. If only time and space was not an issue.

What would it be 10 years from now ?

This coming week will mark my official last week at university. Only exams left before i take that plunge into the working world and put my skills and knowledge to the test.

It got me thinking so much about what I want and where I want to be in 10 years from now. I realize I am an extremely ambitious individual. I aspire to be so many great things. Up till now, I have received everything I aspire for.
Falling into a comfort zone is what I fear the most.
Settling is no word in my dictionary.

Hence I developed a creed for myself.. I call it the Book according to Stephanie Louis.

Chapter 1 vs 1:1

10. Always aim to bring SEXY back.
9. Style & Elegance
8. Persuasive- Be Scrappy.
7. Work hard & Persistence
6. Confidence
4. Develop a positive attitude
3. Dream BIG
2. Be Your Own Miracle.
1. LOVE GOD

-- On another note.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest dad and my lovely sister.
I wish i could be there to celebrate this very special day with the both of you. I thank God everyday for blessing me with 2 amazing people that will always be treasured in my heart of hearts.

To my dad : May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shining dreams. You have sacrificed a great deal for the both of us, and we will always appreciate everything you've done for us all through our lives. You've made things easy and comfortable for us. Most importantly , you provided us with valuable lessons that we will carry throughout our lives. Love you always..

To my sister : Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.
I know how much you love celebrating birthdays. I truly wish i can be part of it, but no matter what I'm always there with you in spirit and prayer. I hope you savor in each birthday during your childhood as these are the memories that will walk by you through life. As your sister, I love you very much and will always be there for you.

Love,
Steph