A hard dose of reality

So disappointment is inevitable in life. Just when your're on cloud 9 thinking how could anything go wrong, BANG !! it all crashes within a sec.
Why oh why is reality so harsh ? Maybe it s true, Im too young to be cynical about life.
Im still in the " you're falling star, your're a perfect thing to say" phase... but oh boy, life doesnt work that way. No no.. micheal buble' type of romance does not exists.

Should I lower my expectations in relationships ?? Should I go in with a negative outlook to save myself from disappointment ? Maybe. Now i understand why older women are cynical , bitter, and here I am calling them, frustrated, cranky spinsters... but geez I ll probably be walking down that rd pretty darn soon.

Life is so incredibly crazy.. how hard is it to find a man who will play the acoustic guitar and sing "Your're my everything" to you ??
I do look up at friends who have taken the commitment to solidfy their relationships. Im amazed at their bravery and their certainty that they are making the right decision.

Life is too short to whine and wimper about all this.. life is to short to keep thinking about the nitty gritty stuff. Back in high school, falling in love, was so simple and uncomplicated. No worries about future, no worries about financial circumstances and career. Now those questions even hinder us from taking the very first step in a rship. Its become this twisted, question -filled event. The joy and fun of falling in love has been sucked out by our innate consumption to acheive a certain std of living. Did we get it right all along back in high school ?? I think we did.

Its time to let go

Its been 23 years..
I have valued each and every advice, comment, encouragement, disapproval and approval that the both of you have given me.
But I think its time for me to spread my wings and test the waters.
Though Im already living miles and miles away from you, I still feel cluttered and constrained.
Don't put me on a guilt trip. I know my responsibilities. But I have a life to live.

I appreciate the both of you so much.
I love you both with an endless amount of love.
I thrive to make you proud and happy. But I am tired.
What about me ? What about my happiness?

I wish to whisk away to a foreign land.
Jobs would be hard. Life would be hard.
But I should be alright.
If its not a pharmacy job, I am equipped to perform so many other things
You have given me an education. I am able to survive

Let me go.
I know your fears. I understand your fears
I am not sure what my dreams are now. My priorities are changing.
Once, being a cooperate mogul may have been my dream.
Now, being a mother of 2, cheering at every soccer game and ballet dance lessons is what I long for.

If I have a choice between a 1 million dollar job and a family
I would choose the path of a family
No money , no amount of success in my career would make me happy
If I am to come home every single day to an empty house.

So please, let me go. Be happy for me if I find that one thing that makes me happy. Maybe it is my destiny. Maybe its fate.

I will always remember my roots and flock back to it. But for now, I am ready to take on greater challenges.

She is all happy :D

Wohoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Finally.. finally I am truly happy in a loooooongggg timeeeeee ..
and the secret to it ... u gotta make urself happy on ur own. Independece leads to happiness.

I was walking home from work today and I thought to myself.. i have absolutely nothing to worry about ( besides pre reg .. but I think i shd be able to crap my way through tht ). Work is just so bloody fantastic. I could not be happier going to work every morning. I have been so blest to find a job that I truly love and it is not a chore for me to wake up at 6 am everyday .
Though this reality will come to an end when i migrate over to RCH for my clinicals, I believe the sweet memories will provide enough stimulation to carry on with the next 6 months of the year.

I hope i do end up getting a job in the pharmaceutical industry after I complete my pre reg. Everything about the job suits me.. i love to dress up..I hate dealing with annoying customers.. I love the power it brings... i love working independently .. and of course.. the hot cooperate men who just cant be left out .

It been such a fantastic 2 months so far. I have learnt so much than I could ever imagine and performed more complicated task than I ever thought I could perform. God has been goood !!

To top it up, my french romance is still bloooming.. fresh as ever. He is so encapsulating.. I just get drowned in his wittyness. He too is one of the most metrosexual men that I have met ( he loooveesss shooesss.. thumbs up ) I cant say if it will ever work due to the distance, but I hope God has a purpose for allowing him into my life. My mum told me once before that you should always pray over relationships so that it will grow and blossom into what you hope it to be. I never bothered doing it with the rest ( which Im thankful for) ... but I find myself whispering to God to pleeeaseee make this wooork :)

In many ways Im pretty asian. Lots of my friends are asian and I talk like an asian.. Hence, i believe an asian french man who is metrosexual will definetely suit my portfolio... for now I couldnt be happier to wake up to emails from Paris...

Signing off in a gleefull moood :D

All you need is hope.

I have not been blogging for a while. Couldnt really get my thoughts and emotions straight for the past 2 weeks. I had a lot of emotions to deal with.. its all like this in Jan. I literally hate the month of Jan. The blues set in when all the holidays have come to an end... and the idea of the coming Dec is too far off.

My parents had left back to Msia and I guess i got use to living with them for the past 6 weeks. Hence the whole detachment process was a bit hard. To add to that, a previous love of mine is getting engaged to a girl he barely knows, but claims he knows everything about her.

It's times like this where I began to wonder if I am actually on the right track, right place. Sure it be so much easier if I walked away from it all and went curling back into my comfort zone, but would that be me ? Would that define who I am ? No I am not running back... I believe I am a fighter and emotions are just emotions and Im trying hard not to let it get to me..
"STAY POSITIVE" as the saying goes ..

Just when i was comin out of this gloominess and was bouncing back into my good ol regular self.. i found a little glimmmer of hope in the corner. It s such an amazing feeling to know that you're not alone and its only a matter of time before your destiny walks right into you.

For now, Im quite happy with my glimmer of hope from France. Though he is beyond my expectations of a man I would have ever considered, but hey... never say never. And certainly no gal would say no to a life in south france...

Ciow !

Hopes & Expectations

Yet another year has just flew by just like wind in that ruffles by through your hair.

Summing up 2008 in a mere few words would be hard for me. It has been A :
-great
-interesting
-adventurous
-bitter
-sad at times
-sucessful
-joyous
-challenging
-rewarding.......year

In many ways I'd always cherish the year 08 as I received my first university education.

Looking into 09, I have so many hopes and expectations for myself... Amongst them would be to save a litte, excel in my career either in pharma industry or taking on yet another degree, travel a little to somewhere in Asia ( India or Thailand), sponsor a child, and loose just about 10kg.

There is so much to look foward to and work on this year.

Jan 1st always marks a days of many goodbyes. Everywhere around the world I know people who are parting and returning back to their daily routines. Hence, thats what keeps me going. Knowing I have to say goodbye to my family and not have mum's nice hot food waiting for me as I return from work, is quite sad. But nevertheless, I believe that when one holiday ends, you always look foward to the next.

I am indeed looking foward to going back home this year.At least i can say this year now :D
A big Christmas celebration for 2009 awaits me.

For now on I shall keep looking towards Dec 2009 .

ps :A big lesson i learnt in 2008 : i Shall Never Celebrate Christmas n New Year's in Melb again.. its festivity for the old folks.. like seriously comeon, I yawned 4 X during the fireworks.. so that pretty much sums it up !

What you got...

Oh man , colby's new single is fused to my neurons.. I cant seem to get this tune out of my head. Its such a catchy song, with lyrcis that.. uh hum reminds me of certain parts of myself.. hehe

Well it's worthy of a post..



Now don't blame me if its stuck in ur head :)

The One Who Shall Be Called the Graduate.

Yippie !!! 

Graduation day finally has come !!! 

And I have indeed graduated from Bachelor of Pharmacy wit Honours. 

Its been such an amazing journey; the education was great, but I believe the ordeals and challenges I faced and lived through was my biggest joy. People ask me, what was the easiest part of your degree... I have to say, it was the studying. The education was a breeze.. if you put in effort, you get the grades. 

However, the whole social aspect to my degree was tough. Living by myself, getting use to a new country and making new friends. Yesterday I felt as though, i did not only come out with a B.Pharm(Hons), but also equipped with the skills survive in this world. 

On another note, I have so many people to thank for contributing to my success. First of all, God who has never failed me.. Praise to the Lord !! 

I thank my mum and dad for being so supportive both financially and emotionally. My friends back home in Msia, who always make my homecomings such memorable ones and my friends in Australia who have given me great memories of uni life. 

There have been many professionals that I have met over my course, which have contributed a lot to my education. I so sincerely thank them for putting me on the right path. 

It's been a wonderful journey.. it will continue to be a wonderful journey.. 

Nothing is too hard  :)