Scrambling that rubble to find that "perfect" life..

While having my hot coffee, 2 slices of fruit loaf and the papers ( e-version mind that) in front of me, I scanned through its articles and a piece on Obama did catch my eye.

Hailing from a rather mediocre background, this man may just be the ONE.. that defies all odds to become the first Black president in the history of the USA. It was a dream he had, and a dream that seems almost his today. It probably took a lot of effort and strength and perseverance to be in the position he is today.

It got me thinking, for Obama, this may be his perfect life.. Standing up there in Capitol Hill, taking the oath of presidency in front of the whole world.. heck it , he ll be the most powerful man in the world for crying out loud.

Everyday, i search for that perfect life. I walked down the shopping centers to look for that perfect outfit, I would not leave the house till my hair is perfect, I need to have my accessories up to date.... everything boils down to getting things perfect in your personal context.

It is the time of the year again where the E word takes on my life. My mind tends to wonder a lot in these days. What I have been up too recently, is try understand or plan out what my perfect life should be. I know I want that absolutely perfect job in WHO in Geneva.. now to get it, I need French, I need experience and I need knowledge.. so I am working on getting all 3 of it.
On the other hand..my search for the perfect guy is up too..smart, sexy, romantic, sweet, kind.. bla bla bla...
I try fit in the idea of my perfect career, perfect guy, perfect family in my mind.. and its one task that drains the hell out of me. Movies, songs are a mere camouflage of the perfect life...

I am tired ... I am exhausted.. I just wish i could kick back with a cocktail and let perfect happen... but for now I shall always wonder ...

When will the search for the perfect one end ???

Live and Learn

" History repeats itself"

How true is that ? Though we have been through certain things i life, yet we jump into it again only to realize that the same mistake has been made.

I believe for a lesson to remain enact in a human, a mistake has to be made 3 times. Or 1 time with severe consequences.

In life, why are we always looking for that something.. if its not a great boyfriend, then it s a great career or a great house.. when will searching for the ONE be DONE.

You think as you grow older your decisions are more sounds. But sometimes i do feel, did we get it right all along in high school, when innocence were part of us ?

The world out there is harsh.. and it order to survive it with a mere contentment, you have to be cruel to be kind. To some, I may appear to be someone who makes decisions at the jump of the heartbeat and gets easily swept away by flowers etc.. yea that is true ( which girl isn't), but I also believe you have to be IN it to know that you wanna be OUT it.

On another note, this city Im livin in is full of cute, successful men. I gave my heart completely once, and yes that is one mistake I shall not make again. I can give you my time, but not my heart. Not till I know you are worth my love and that is a hard one to fullfill.

As much as i love my light, low fat food.. I think Im gonna go on a low fat rship from now on..

LIGHT SIMPLE TASTY

@dios !

Lost in my thoughts

When you have it all,
Why does it feel like you have nothing,
When you love something so much,
Why can't that be yours,

Why is the laws of the universe so harsh,
Why do humans go against humans,
When love is all you need,
To put the pieces back together.

As I stare at the girl in the mirror,
I ask, Who is this ?
Do I recognize her ?
Where has she gone.

From poets, to romance suckers claim that you know when its right,
That is equivalent to " A happy ending",
It is a fantasy that you can just hope to catch in your dreams,
Never existed, Never will.

As I shut my eyes tonight,
I know Ill miss you deeply once again,
The length of time does not matter,
The impact you etched in me does.

>>> Missing u so very much tonight. If only time and space was not an issue.

What would it be 10 years from now ?

This coming week will mark my official last week at university. Only exams left before i take that plunge into the working world and put my skills and knowledge to the test.

It got me thinking so much about what I want and where I want to be in 10 years from now. I realize I am an extremely ambitious individual. I aspire to be so many great things. Up till now, I have received everything I aspire for.
Falling into a comfort zone is what I fear the most.
Settling is no word in my dictionary.

Hence I developed a creed for myself.. I call it the Book according to Stephanie Louis.

Chapter 1 vs 1:1

10. Always aim to bring SEXY back.
9. Style & Elegance
8. Persuasive- Be Scrappy.
7. Work hard & Persistence
6. Confidence
4. Develop a positive attitude
3. Dream BIG
2. Be Your Own Miracle.
1. LOVE GOD

-- On another note.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest dad and my lovely sister.
I wish i could be there to celebrate this very special day with the both of you. I thank God everyday for blessing me with 2 amazing people that will always be treasured in my heart of hearts.

To my dad : May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shining dreams. You have sacrificed a great deal for the both of us, and we will always appreciate everything you've done for us all through our lives. You've made things easy and comfortable for us. Most importantly , you provided us with valuable lessons that we will carry throughout our lives. Love you always..

To my sister : Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.
I know how much you love celebrating birthdays. I truly wish i can be part of it, but no matter what I'm always there with you in spirit and prayer. I hope you savor in each birthday during your childhood as these are the memories that will walk by you through life. As your sister, I love you very much and will always be there for you.

Love,
Steph

One step at a time

My days have been spent lazing around my lounge room, listening to lectopia.. eating.. sleeping... chatting..eating again.. more chatting.. i feel so incredibly lazy..

Nevertheless, over this past week, i've really gotten into this whole chatting thing. It kinda wonderful to look foward to talk to someone. My usual routine starts off at about 12 pm with me chatting to him and it goes on right till 5, while we do our work... then continues from 8 pm till 2 or 3 am

It's amazing how me and ( well he is gonna be Mr.X-tall) Mr.X-tall connects. I am actually looking foward to return to Melb to meet this TDH guy.. heehe

Well for now it s all one step at a time :P

Where is my midnight man ??

It's so Surreal !!

OMG..i can't believe im on msian soil..

It's been Day 2 and yet it still have to pinch myself. The last I left home, i programed my mind that I will only come back to this land after a year. But to much surprise Im back after just a mere 2 months.

In a way I am glad. Though I came back in such unfortunate circumstances, Im still BACK !!

Im getting better and I really would like to thank everyone for their concerns and well wishes. My good friends in Melb have been so awesome ( HY, YZ, WL, & SK). Thanks so much for everything guys... without ur support I would have been really down..

From this experience I have realise that we cant always plan everything. Things crop up very unexpectedly in life. Today im here , tomorrow I may be there.. life is so UNDEFINED.

I hope i recover and that too quick and completely. As what my dad said " home is the best medicine.. so now u just rest. "

I thank God everyday for such amazing parents that do everything in my best interest. I also am very blessed to have the financial capacity to just fly back whenever. Family is the most important thing in life.. and Im sure with them around , Ill bounce back in no time..

It's late but I have been sleeping for the past 12 hours.. I shall retired to bed AGAIN.. as I have an early date with the ENT specialist

Ciows.. and thanks to all :)